Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight

Now just get on with it...

The last few days we have been talking about "quake prevention"...how to make sure you are in the best possible shape so if something happens to you..something that could potentially knock you flat...you either have the structure in place to sway with the shock waves or if you indeed topple...you have the things in place that can help you rebuild your life.

Enough said...at least for awhile :)

Now..just get on with it.  Live your life in anticipation that you will live the life you are "visioning for".  Do not spend your time in hyper vigilance that the sky is flying and you need to climb the nearest tree and hang on for dear life.

When I worked with people in Sri Lanka who survived their tsunami...that is what they said they did..as they saw the water coming they climbed trees.  And the most telling thing person after person said was that the strongest people pushed the weakest up the trees then took care of themselves. You are only in the position to be the strongest is you have taken care of yourself in the first pace...a point to remember.

I spent years being hyper vigilant for my safety. In three of the last four jobs I had..I had threats of violence directed at me.  I always lived on alert. That is an energy draining kind of life.  You do not want that.  You want to assume that life is and will be great for you.  That things will line up the way you want.

Then take steps every day towards that life.  Will there be issues that pop up? Well if you are breathing and interact with other humans..yes there will be.  But if you are solid where you are standing and have done your "prevention work"..then sway you may if you are hit by a "quake".  But when the dust settles you will be in a better place to recover and move on.

And recovering and moving on is the whole point.  Continuing to build and live the life we want and deserve. It's where our focus should be...now just get on with it. :)

Making yourself "quake proof"..and important step courtesy of Mo'Nique

Mo'Nique won the Oscar for best supporting actress in the film... Precious: based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire last night.

I have not seen the movie yet.  It did not play where I live.  I am waiting for the DVD to come out.  What I have read is that Mo"Nique takes your breathe away with her portrayal of an abusive mother.

I watched the Barbara Walters special before the Oscars and Ms. Walters interviewed Mo'Nique. Mo'Nique said she based her role on her older brother who abused her.  What was compelling to me was her response about the effect that abuse had on her. Now I am para phrasing here because I did not have paper and pen to write down exactly what she said...but this is what I remember...

She said something like it ain't heavy if you set it down.  I was quite stuck by that.  It ain't heavy if you set it down.  She was able to set down what happened to her. 

I immediately thought that is a great "quake prevention" key.  In order to be as strong as possible.  As centered as possible in your life... you have to set down things in the past that have negatively affected you and not carry them with you.

I have written about doing that in the past but her framing of it was so simple..so clear...so powerful. And she said it with light in her eyes which to me means she practices it and it is serving her well.

If your arms are so full of the "things" from the past...the more you carry...the heavier they all feel.  And soon you are so focused on balancing all the pain of the past you are left unequipped to deal with the present or the future.  If you are so preoccupied you can be flatten and buried under a ton of "stuff' including old unresolved things you simply could not, or would not put down.

Any new "quake" then will not have to work very hard to topple you.  The key...a big key is to keep your hands free.  Set all the old stuff aside.  Be balanced in today. Then if something happens you can use your arms to help balance you in the now.

And your hands will also be free to grab hold of someone else's hand if you need some help getting back up.

Congratulations Mo'Nique and thank you for sharing your powerful truth.  I am grateful.

 

Making yourself "quake proof"...just a few more steps!

Just a few more steps in my "quake proof" prevention plan...

It is essential that you knew who you are before you're hit by a "quake"!  And I don't mean checking your drivers license for a clue.

You need to decide who you are and what your good stuff is.  What about you do you simply love.  And what you like :) ...that you are on your way to loving.

You have to develop a core belief...if you don't have one... that you are worthy of the ground you stand on. That you matter to you and that you count.  Those can be tall orders for some people.  I have been sadden over the years by the number of people who I have met who have issues around those core beliefs.

They simply have never been supported in believing that they matter and that has had a pretty dramatic effect on their lives.

It is never too late to discover how wonderful you are.  Never. And once you discover that and can embrace it...if and when you are hit by some experience that knocks you off your feet..the chances are you will find your way back up. 

You won't implode.  You may sway and you may tumble...but with some prevention planning you also have a foundation that can help you can get back up.  And that's the most important part of this plan.

Making yourself "quake proof"...what's your anchor?

I am not saying an anchor is going to hold you in place as we continue talking about making yourself "quake proof"..but it can help "right you" if you are knocked off your feet. 

And just maybe if it is strong enough...you will sway like the buildings in Chili with the shock of the quake and not implode.

So what is your anchor?  What can you do that centers you?  It's an important part of making yourself as "quake proof" as possible.

One of my oldest and dearest friends has been walking this path with me dealing with her own experiences over the past several years.  Regrouping...moving towards a new life.  She uses yoga.  She just said the other day she believes it helps her so much she doubts she will ever be affected by something like she was before. That is an anchor.

She sent me a yoga tape.  Good lord...the man who was in the tape was delightful but I was lost after the first move...so yoga not so much an anchor for me.

My anchor.  I pray a lot and I have a strong belief in guardian angels.  I figure I have at least 7 angels assigned to me and they have had a workout during my lifetime to beat the band.  I always think the next time around they will all be given a "pass" 'cause this ride we are on must count for substantial time off! 

You don't believe in things like that.  No problem...I am not asking you to!  What I ask of you is to find your own anchor.  One that works for you.  One that you can turn to when a "quake" hits you.

And if you say you don't need one...well bless you.  I, myself, am not interesting in tempting fate like that to provide I may be wrong.

Tomorrow..another step in your plan.

Making yourself "quake proof"...the planning continues.

We are talking about making yourself "quake proof". Putting a structure in place that can help you withstand any personal quake and its followup tsunami that may come your way.

The true facts are that you can still be flatten no matter how prepared you are.  When it's a force that overwhelms you...you can be knock flat before you know it.  But sometimes what you do ahead of time can help there be less damage..and sometimes what you do ahead of time can help you get back up faster.  So it truly is prevention...maybe prevention of something "worst" but prevention all the same.

As I was writing that I found myself back on the roof of a hotel in Sri Lanka near the ocean.  I went there in 2006 to work with a team of people in some of the camps where people still live who were displaced by the tsunami that hit that area in December 2004.  The devastation was still apparent.  I couldn't sleep and was standing on the roof looking out trying to imagine a wall of water over a house tall coming at me.  As the water hit the rocks the sounds were chilling and deafening.  I remember being in awe of the power of nature.

In awe of what happens when nature is unleashed.  I was chilled by it and went back inside.  I still have that feeling when I look at what has happened to me over the past 3 years when my own quake and tsunami hit me.  There is still devastation to be dealt with.  And I work on that every day.  But what I know is clearly this...if I had done some personal prevention ahead of time...the impact may not have been as great. 

It is a lesson I am taking to heart and that's why I share what I do.  I would never say I will not fall again.  This is life after all :).  But I am saying I will be better prepared this time..and I want you to be too.

So today...a bit about dealing with food and drink..they are part of the first step in being prepared...taking care of your physical self.  Yesterday we talked about sleep. Today food and drink.

You need to eat the best you can.  I know that can be hard when you don't have alot of money.  When you have only a few dollars it's easier to say "I cannot figure this out" and grab a bag a chips. But you can figure it out if you take a little time.  You have to look at food as fuel and you need to figure out what fuel works best for your body.  And then be prepared.

I have part time jobs that are very demanding.  I am on my feet for long stretches at a time.  If I take some food along...I do better.  If I don't... I head for the little Tootsie rolls and that has a totally different affect on me. Being prepared makes a difference. Food is fuel and you have to figure out what works best for you.  Then take the time to make sure you eat. 

I have a friend who eats maybe once a day...and it's usually not anything healthy.  She looks drawn out and doesn't feel well a lot of the time. Her body needs fuel..so does yours and mine.  When we don't get it over a period of time...our bodies will start to show it. And that makes it harder for us to deal with things that come our way.

And now a bit on drinking.  I am not talking about water or even coffee.  I want you to be aware of what else you drink and how you may be using that to get you through whatever you are dealing with.  I am not here to judge you.  There have been times when I drank more than I thought.  When I did realize I was coming home every night and having a drink or two or sometimes three I stopped.

And I have to say during the past three years I have rarely drank.  It is just something I just choose not to do.  Pain is pain and will need to be dealt with sooner or later...and dealing with it with a clearer head I find helpful.  So just check yourself.  Do you think you drink too much?  Is that the first thing you reach for when you are stressed? 

 Maybe there is a better choice...tomorrow I will give you a couple of them.

Making yourself "quake proof". It takes a plan..

Here's the first very unsettling thought we have to come to terms with...quakes are an act of nature that occur and no matter how prepared we are..they can still come.

For our purposes we are going to be talking about events that rock your world and mine.  Not where the earth simply throws a fit and damage and destruction is massive...

I am talking about events that happen to you and me that bring the same kind of destruction only it's on a personal level.  It's losing your job, your partner, your health.  It's anything that seems to come out of nowhere and takes you to your knees.  While we have talked about this before...framing it as quake prevention may reach you in a different way.  Maybe something will click that hasn't before. That happens to me all the time...

We are talking about prevention...not aftermath.

So what's the first step in making sure you can withstand whatever quake or tsunami comes your way? 

The first step is taking care of your physical self.  Sounds simple but it's not always for people.

It means getting enough sleep.  There are tons of studies now that say lack of sleep is never recovered. If there is an area where I still have issues it is with sleep.  And when I don't get good sleep..or any sleep...everything seems bigger and potentially darker.  You and I cannot make good decisions when we are endlessly sleep deprived.  It is simply not possible. 

I loved when President Clinton said in his first book that he made poor decisions when he didn't get enough sleep and was tired. I felt a deep connection to that looking at my own life. Recently some of his heart issues were connected to lack of sleep. It's nice to see we are a nation of slow learners sometimes..it's just not me!

So sleep...and getting good sleep is essential.

Tomorrow we will discuss food and...yes drink :)

Are you "quake" proof?

I was reading a segment in USA Today yesterday called Et cetera. An article that Frank Bajak wrote for the Associated Press was quoted.  Here is the part that has me thinking...

"Survivors of Haiti's quake described abject panic - much of it well-founded as buildings imploded around them...Chileans, on the other hand, have homes and offices built to ride out quakes, their steel skeletons designed to sway with seismic waves rather than resist them."

I, of course, continue to think of people in both countries and the devastation they must be experiencing.  Nothing we can truly comprehend unless we have lived through something similar.

But the article also had me thinking about us.  How "quake" proof are we when we are "hit" by our own earthquake and the follow up tsunamis? Do we implode or do we sway with the seismic waves?

I think I imploded when I was hit by my "earthquake"...ah..no thinking about it. I did. How am I rebuilding my "skeleton" this time so next time I could just sway with the waves rather than resist them? 

Tomorrow I will start sharing my building plans.

Can I have some coco with that nightmare?!

Holy smokes...when was the last time you had a nightmare?  A real nightmare that you were in..and that you remembered?!

I have to say it has been a long time for me.  Maybe the benefit of my short term memory issues...I simply don't remember.

Today I remember...and I still feel it in my body.  I know about the theory of dreams maybe it's just the opposite for nightmares.

I have been writing about unplugging and releasing things that no longer serve me..and recommend that you look at your life and do the same thing. If it's draining energy and no longer putting any back into you...it's time to unplug.

A big part of my nightmare was me being told I have not done enough so I did not deserve the same things other people in my nightmare had.  What was interesting was that I got into a shouting match with one people...because I had done an endless list of things for her!

It is hard to break old patterns.  It is hard to change and it is harder to sustain a change even if it's in your own best interest. But change we can...and sustain that change we can...if we keep the vision of what we want in front of us.  Nobody said it would be easy...that's why so many people settle for less.

So bring on those nightmares if you must...but can I have some hot coco with them next time...cause it's actually just an old movie I am seeing for the last time.

No matter what...the focus is yours.

I have been thinking about that this morning after watching the US and Canada hockey game yesterday.  It was a great game to watch.  I am not a hockey fan usually but I was watching like millions of others for the run for the gold medal.

What I found most curious was the interview that was done with US goalie Ryan Miller after the game. By any account he did a great job. Yes, the winning shot got by him at the end.  But reading his teammates comments this morning... they all credited him with getting them as far as they got.

What I found interesting was the interview and the interviewer after the game who kept saying how big the game was.  Miller kept saying they played it like any other game.  Not satisfied with that, the interviewer again kept trying to get Miller to say how big the game and it's ramifications were.  Again Miller talked about it as just a game.

As I listened I thought...there you go...you get to put whatever importance you want on anything you do.  You get to choose.  Not the folks watching you. Whether that is your partner, your parents or the world at large.  You get to choose.

Not everything is a make or break "game'. Not everything has life altering consequences.  Life is a journey and there will be highs and lows no matter how focused you are. 

But if you consider everything a "game" you have to win...you will end up pretty exhausted and spent at the end of it.  And I think there is a better way to travel...

What was I thinking?!

Truth be told last night I wasn't really thinking.  I had an incredibly long work day...about 14 hours on my little feet so when I got home I decided to eat something then watch a DVD with Pumpkin the wonder dog to relax.

That's where my plan went amiss...

The first DVD I put in was the first season of Dexter.  I didn't know much about it other than it gets great reviews on Show-time.  Quickly it appears that Dexter is some kind of serial killer and he just caught another one in the first few minutes of the show!  Yikes!  What the heck!!  I quickly ejected it...not the relaxing thing I needed and I put in one more DVD.  This one was called the Bodyguard, a new beginning.

As I laid back down that one started to play with people being beaten to a pulp.  I rolled my eyes and thought...what was I thinking?!

If you want...and I say I want...a life with less drama and more joy and peace...then that has to flow through my life.  It has to flow through my choices, through my language, through what I read, through what I see  and through what I expose myself to. 

Trust me.. I am not a pansy.  I have had death threats or the potential of them in 3 of the last 4 jobs I have had.  I can hold my own or go down swinging.  But that is not how I choose to live anymore.  I am headed into different space.

Will that mean I will ignore violence and life's horrible side?  No...but will I invite it in my home so I could view it with a dish of ice cream and a little wiener dog by myself?...Ah that would be no again.