Nobody has to do this alone. No matter how alone you may feel in what you are dealing with. There are people who can support you. But selecting people to confide in..to ask advise from..to share frustrations with can be tricky. I believe you need to do it with care.
You want people in your corner, in your cheering section who are going to support you yet be honest with you too. I think you can learn a lot about people when you reach out. When you are down and need some support.
Years ago I started my own business...a business that I now believe was just years before it's time. ( More about that down the road I am sure...) I did not even have a shoestring to start it..as I like to say I start things with a flip-flop! I barely had money to survive and a friend who was a school counselor ( whose husband was a therapist at the time) came over to see me and to see how things were going. For some reason we were in the kitchen and she looked for something to eat. She opened the cupboard and saw I had very little food.
Hours later she called me after she went home. She called to let me know she would not be embarrassed as my friend if I decided to go to a food bank to get some food. She wanted me to know it was okay with her. I am telling you now that was EXACTLY the reason I had not done that!!! NOT! It did give me a view of her that I had not had before. It also gave me a lesson in sensitivity to other people and where they are at that has never left me.
If you truly do not have people in your life that support you...then you can make up your own dream team of supporters. I did that years ago when I was feeling rather alone. I learned about the technique in a great book by Barbara Sher called Wishcraft. She said if you don't have support in your life think of famous people you would want in your cheering section. Pick out the people. Write their names down then close your eyes and imagine what they would say when you walked in the room. I tell you I had a field day with that!
I love Bette Davis. I think she was her own woman, smart, sexy and someone who would back you up no matter what. Needless to say she was in my cheering section. When I imagined walking in a room with her there I imagined her saying as she saw me, "she is rather little but she has sparkle in her eye and I can tell she's pretty spunky...I need to meet her and have a drink." I laughed and laughed because I could hear her voicee saying it! And I embraced it like a cupcake! I found a picture of her, cut it out and had it on my bulletin board for years with the words "sparkle and spunky". Only I knew what it meant...but that's the only one who needed to know.
I have a great group of friends and family that support me as I support them. I could not have gotten through the last two years of my life when I really fell down without them. I know in my heart of hearts know I would not be here today if they had not been there. Their support was solid. And I am grateful every day for them.
I hope you look at this blog as asupport for you. You are not alone in working through whatever you are working though. This is not therapy ... this is people reaching out to people saying...life is easier when you have support. So as you fill out your cheering section..know I am right there with you...as I hope you are there with me.
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