I just got back from attending a memorial service for a woman I know...Ruthie. Ruthie died a few days ago. Tonight her husband and two brothers along with some of her friends attended a charming service that spoke to and about her life. It was really one of the nicest memorials I have ever attended. (And I have attended many as I was one of the first people hired in the 80's by the state of Wisconsin to be an HIV/AIDS case manager.)
What was most wonderful to me was what was said near the end. The funeral director who was conducting the service said based on what he had heard from Ruthie's husband and her two brothers...if Ruthie had all the money in the world...she would have been doing exactly what she was doing as she lived her life. She was spending time with her partner and friends. Loved animals and her art. She lived her life doing what gave her joy. What a legacy to leave...what a wonderful thing to have said about you.
What a wonderful chance for us to think about what we want said at our memorial service and then work backwards to put it in place. (As a side note...I want cupcakes served at my service. I have made a note of that!) Maybe it's a benefit of falling down...you get pulled up short...you have a chance to look at things differently. If you want to get up and do the same thing...it's your choice. But it may be an opportunity to look at your world differently. I know I have been. Joy...it was not on my list years ago...I will tell you now it is front and center.
It has been a process to figure out what does bring me joy. As we go along I will share how I have discovered what I have. But first over the weekend I will be talking about where I have been since I fell down ...and how I have found my way back to standing up.
In the meantime I will be thinking of Ruthie and the stove top hat she crocheted and wore with such grace and just personal style. I am so very glad Ruthie and I crossed paths. I know I am richer for it.
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