Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight

Falling down sucks!

I was going to write today about some ideas I have used for putting things out to the curb...but this morning I had the thought that I needed to clarify this point first...falling down sucks!  No matter what has caused you to fall or stumble.  The process of falling sucks!

There is nothing pleasant about it.  If someone has betrayed you...someone has left you...you have lost your job... you have no money...lost your home...you are ill...whatever has happened to you...it sucks!  There...I feel better saying that.

Someone can say...things happen for a reason.  Yes, I believe that.  But the process can still be painful.  Someone can say...You can learn from falling.  I agree.  I would like to believe however that I could have learned a less painful way. Someone can say...you need to play the cards that you have been dealt.  Again, yes I will play them but a better hand would have been nice. 

It is a simply observation but an important one.  When something sucks (the most technical word I could think of) most of us want it change.  Thus the process of getting up...no matter how long it takes.  I have found it easier to get up when you have a friend reach out to help you.

I hope you consider this a place where that friend is there for you too.

Taking the garbage out.

Friday is garbage day on my block.  I opened the refrigerator this morning and realized once again that the bottom drawer was holding some long forgotten vegetables...they have run their course and needed to be put out with the garbage.  I am very pleased to say I use my refrigerator and even my oven now which for years when I was working like a manic was used primarily for storage. 

Putting out the garbage also reminded me about the other stuff that needs to be set out by the curb.  Maybe not in recycling bags but you can still put things figuratively to the curb that no longer serve you.  Experiences that have hurt you, people who have disappointed you over and over, obligations that bring you absolutely no joy and are a weight to carry through with. The list of things that could be weighing you down could be endless. It is your life and you get to choose what you surround yourself with.

There is an old saying if you do things the same way...you will always get the same results.  I think if you have fallen down a few times and are working at getting up again...it's a great time to get rid of the extra weight or clutter that you are carrying.

It is hard sometimes to identify what is weighing you down or what is clutter.  Here is a framework to use when you look at something...is it bringing you joy or adding value to your life.  If it is...it's a keeper. If it's not...get it ready for the curb.

Tomorrow we will talk about a couple of ways that will help you do that...get it ready for the curb. Until then...Happy Spring!

Listen to the small voice inside.

I am a believer that we are guided.  I will not put a name on the guide for you...you get to pick your own...but I have always had a firm belief that there is a voice inside us that can direct us ...if only we are quiet enough, still enough to listen.  I will say I stopped listening several years ago.

I was working incredible hours...a hamster on a wheel had nothing on me!  Memory Flash!!! When we were little my brother Bobby had a hamster named Mr. Perkins.  That little devil had a wheel and never, ever used it until the middle of the night.  Justmentioning a hamster on a wheel brought back memories of late night wheel noise done to the ch-orus of three sisters yelling, "Bobby tell Mr. Perkins to knock it off!".  I believe both Bobby and Mr. Perkins probably rolled over smiling knowing that their work for the night was done!

Anyway...when I was working for years like a hamster running that wheel on energy pills I stopped hearing the voice.  Call it intuition, your guardian angel...I stopped hearing it let alone listening.

What I have found as I got quiet...after months of working through things...I have started to hear the voice again.  I have made a promise to myself that I will listen...really listen now that I am standing back up.  I want life to be different.  I want to live in my best interest.  To do that I have to pay attention to my own life, what I need and want, trust that...and listen to the wisdom I have.  I have a beautiful little card hanging next to my computer by Diane English www.greatcosmichappyass.com that says "All of your answers are within".  I believe they are...if only you can get quiet enough to hear them.

That is hard to do though when you are tired or scared or disappointment or you have lost your trust.  It is so important that at some point you come back to that center.  That trusting you.  What you know.  What your wisdom is.  It is still there.  It may just be as tired or scared or disappointed as you are.  And if your trust has been betrayed most of us will find fault with our selves first rather than look outward.  But I know there can be relief for both of you...for you and that little voice who is waiting to guide you.

Today with my new found commitment to listen to that inner wisdom..I was getting ready to drive out of town.  I stopped to get gas and as I got out of the car...that little voice said "check the oil".  My immediate response was I don't have time.  I was pulled up short and remembered my promise...when given the wisdom on a silver platter...even at the gas station...I will listen and act on it.  So I opened the hood of the car.  Pulled out the oil stick and it was completely dry!  No oil.  Had I driven out of town...I doubt my car and I would have made it back together.  I heard, I stopped, I listened.  My car and I are better for it.

What have you been hearing today?

It can all change in a minute.

One thing about life is...it can all change in a minute.  My sister and I have been trading e-mails about Natasha Richardson...the actress who sustained a head injury while she was skiing.  It is so very sad...and yet such a reminder that life can change in a minute.

One minute you can be up and then in the next you can be down...a simple act...a simple word..it can make all the difference in your world. Or in the world of someone else.  Sometimes that act or word can help raise you up and the other times take you down.  It is a tremendous amount of power we can have in our own life or someone else's.  More about that tomorrow...

Today I am thinking of Natasha Richardson and her family.  When I think of her I think of her sparkling...her eyes just seemed to twinkle.  The joy in her heart was visible in her eyes.

What are your eyes saying today?

You need to turn on the light.

I had an interesting experience the other day.  The light burnt out in my bathroom and it went dark in the room.  Now I have a very small bathroom...there is only a shower alas...no bathtub which I have lamented about for the 12 years I have lived here.  Be that as it may...now the whole room was dark.

I went to the garage to get a ladder because the ceiling is high.  Once I got back in the bathroom I realized I could not open the ladder all the way because the room is so darn small.  So there I was...climbing up an half opened ladder that was propped up between the sink and the wall... passing the warning signs about ladder use as I climbed higher.  I make it to the top and changed the light bulb.  Then I decided as long as I was up there it is probably time to change the light bulbs above the mirror too.

I got them all changed...flipped the switch and the room exploded in light!  I did not realize how dark it had become...it happened slowly as one bulb burnt out, then another, then another and then another...then the main light and it was only in the total darkness I was moved to do something.

I think the same thing happens when you have fallen down...whether it's because you have been betrayed by someone you trusted, you lost a job, lost a partner or spousee, had your 401K disappear,  had your beloved pet die, have been crushed by disappointment...whatever has caused you to fall...it has also taken the light away...maybe slowly...maybe all at once.  You are so devastated by the circumstances you are surrounded by you cannot even see the light is gone.  It took me months and months to realize that it was no longer bright.  Dark was safe and dark was everywhere.  It was the norm for me for awhile...

Then little by little the light came back..not a big explosion of light...one bulb at a time.  And on the day I finally stood up again...there was a warm light waiting that I hope to appreciate more this time.  Appreciate and tend to a little better than I have in the past.

If you cannot find a way to turn on the light again in your life...stick with me.  I know we can find it together. 

I am an electrician's daughter after all.  Okay, that didn't help me in my search but I thought it might be me a little more credibility in the light department!!!!

I am thinking about becoming a bank when I grow up!

I am in a time of transition...the way I have lived my life has taken me many places.  I have done good work and I believe I have helped many people in the positions I have held by the work I have done.  But it took me to a place where I was flat out down for the count.  More about that later...

I am back up...and as I look to the future...I am thinking if you want to go where the money is...become a bank!  I have been the director of 6 non profit organizations that from time to time got money from the government in the form of grants.  We had to account for those grants...every single penny.

Reading all the stories coming out about the banks that have accepted bail out money...and how they are spending it makes me think I have missed the boat...a very large boat that apparently comes with expense waste baskets and endless money to reward people who show up for work whether they have made their bank a success or not. And there is apparently no accounting for the money!  The time that took for my fiscal manager...well it was a big part of her job.

So here is an idea I am toying with...apply to become a community bank, give out actual loans to people who need the money and let staff people's good work at their job be their reward.  I think it's a heck of an idea...I would give new accounts a spanking new toaster with a slot for bagels...and I know where I can get a waste basket for about $8.00.  We are talking win-win-win here!

 There...I have gotten that out of my system.  Probably not the direction I am going in but it is still one heck on an idea to think about.

I am back up...

Part of life is falling down and getting back up.  I, myself, have probably fallen down more than seven times...but heh...who is really counting.  The most important part of falling down is getting back up. And what I know is that I am indeed back up...

This time I have been down for awhile...but as I noted above it's all about the getting back up.

How have I gotten back up? Well with a lot of help from a circle of friends.  I want this blog to be about witnessing that getting up and moving forward.  It will be about resiliency, resources and real life.  It will be about me but it will also be about you.

What I learned years ago is that it is important to be a witness to your own life...and it have a witness to your life.  Someone who can hear your story...to witness what you have experienced. I cannot always explain the process but I have seen it over and over again.  When you stand still and hear someone's story, acknowledge it's existence...it makes a difference.

This is not a place to hold a contest of who has it worse.  Everyone's story is their own and needs to be honored.  As we go along I will talk about some of the things that have happened to me.  Not to say...poor me...but rather to shed some light on what has helped me and if it can help you...even a little bit.  That will be a good thing.  And if there are things that have helped you...I hope you will be willing to share that...it could be just the thing to help someone else.

What you will find here is honesty and candor.  It will not all be upbeat and rosy...because quite frankly my path just hasn't been working out that way. But there have been days with great humor, unbelievable encounters and my observations of life as it unfolds.  I invite you to join me on this journey to a new kind of life ...  seen from standing back up on my own two feet.