Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight

I am more than this minute...or this hour...or this day.

When you become overwhelmed by life it is really important to get some perspective.  It's important to take a step or two back ... sometimes three and look at the big picture you are dealing with.

If you, like me, are continuing to deal with the basics of life.  Getting them back in place..it can seem overwhelming some days. I have a great sense of faith.  I believe I am walking the path I am suppose to.  So I continue to do the steps that are front of me.  I believe they will get me to the place I say I want to go.  I have to trust that they are enough.  Or if they aren't enough...once they are accomplished then the next ones will appear.

It's about faith in what you believe in...what you say you want to accomplish and the faith you have in yourself.  If you sometimes falter...like I do.  That doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or there is nothing wrong with me.

It means we have to remember why we want what we say we want.  Take a deep breathe.  Realize that you and I are more than whatever in going on in this minute...this hour...and this day.  We are much, much more...

 Then take time to look at the big picture of your life...not just the obstacle in front of you.  That might just help you put a window in that wall you find yourself staring at!

Go Use This Stuff! The message of the day!

I was on Jeff Herring's website today...www.jeffherring.com and he signed off on something he wrote with the G.U.T.S. "go use this stuff"!  I absolutely loved that!

Go use this stuff...information gathered and not used...is...well it is simply more clutter added to the pile.  If that is your goal...fine.  But if you gather information so it can make a difference in your life...well then go use the stuff!

I don't know about you but there is simply so much information out there that it can make you dizzy!  So gather what you need...then go use use it!  You can always get more.  Then you use that. And keep repeating the process.

To simply gather resources makes you a library which is not a bad thing if that is your goal.  But if you have something else in mind you have to do something different.

To keep gathering more information or feeling you need to learn just one more thing before you take action...keeps you in the same place.  Progress requires action and movement.  Look at whatever you have today.. and go use the stuff!

That's a call to action and on a Monday that is a very good thing indeed.  Thanks Jeff!

What do you do when you don't act like everyone else you know?

That is simple...you look for people who do act like you!

I am talking about following your dreams...your vision for your life.  If you are outside the "norm" for the folks you surround yourself with... know that they won't necessarily "get" what you are doing.

So to find support there may be difficult.  You may find yourself explaining yourself over and over again...and after awhile that is may not helpful to you.  Sometimes it may seem wiser to just go about your business keeping the details of your "quest" to yourself.

It's not being secretive or sneaky.  It is just realizing that every time you tell someone else about what you are doing and they are not supportive...it takes away some of your energy.  And your energy needs to be focused on you and your plans...not convincing folks to line up in your corner.

So what do you do?  Where do you find support?  One answer is to look for people who are striving for the same things you are.  Maybe not the exact same things...but people who are reaching for their own dreams.  You can look on-line for folks or take a class that would help you gain ground in what you are trying to accomplish.  Either place you may gain some allies.

But above all you need to remember the most important ally you need to have is you. You have to be so grounded in what you want that if you need to go against every "grain" that is normal for everyone else around you...that you can do it.

When that is the case...it won't matter how everyone else is acting around you...because your focus is on your dreams...which is where it needs to be.

Intention + plan X movement = my goal

Every good math equation has a solution... it equals something.  My new math equation equals my goal.  Rather simple in it's language...not always so simple in it's execution.  But maybe we make it harder than it really is.

To view (just like math class)...

You are clear about your intention.  You make a written plan listing all the steps you know when you begin. Then you start working your plan.  When you have taken all the steps ... the ones you knew when you started and the ones that revealed themselves as you went along...you will have arrived at your goal.

When you accomplish your goal...you are not done yet.  Though you may think that you are.  Most people believe they are done and start looking at what's next.  There is another way...

I think there are two important parts yet to do...the gratitude pause followed by the Happy Dance.  I dare say most people miss both of them.  Missing them is a mistake.

The gratitude pause is simply you being thankful for what you have accomplished and saying thank you to anyone along the way who helped you.  Contrary to what some people think...we don't usually do things in a vacuum.  We get help.  The grateful person says thank you. 

And that is followed by the Happy Dance.  You don't have to actually dance if you don't want to but dancing is a quite lovely expression of being happy.  And happy you should take time to be when you accomplish your goal.  That's where a lot of us miss the boat.  We never take time to be happy about what we have accomplished. We rush headlong into the next thing on our list and I think that is a mistake.

We need to take time to be happy.  If life is to be lived...and if we want to lead an authentic life then we want to truly pay attention and that means taking the time to pause and appreciate what we have...what we have brought to ourselves through our math equation.

And if you feel the spirit moves you to dance...then simply take to the floor and dance.  :)

My new math equation...intention + plan X movement = my goal

We are exploring my new math equation.  So far we have covered intention plus plan.  Today we will multiple that by movement.

Ah if only what I wanted was delivered by Domino's.  I am a very good tipper!  I would make it worth your time to deliver what I want right to my door as I sit on the couch waiting with a smile on my face.  But alas...it does not work that way.

I believe you can visualize your brains out but if you have no movement on your part...you are simply spinning fabulous pictures in your head.  Even the universe which I believes will do her part..wants to see some commitment on your part.  That commitment means movement!  Taking steps...no matter how small towards what you say you want.

And you have an idea of what those first steps are because you wrote out your plan yesterday...didn't you?  Again...you don't have to know every single step...I don't.  But it seems as soon as I take some...the next ones appear.  I don't know if it's magical...but it quite lovely.

Do I ever get stuck?  Well of course I do.  I am stuck right now on a rather larger thing.  That just means I have to back up and look at if differently so I can get a new approach.  Get around that pothole in the road...

Sometimes I talk to folks...sometimes I just get quiet so I can hearing my own thinking  and sometimes I just take a nap because I am trying too hard. Then I come up with the next steps...and do them.  One at a time.  Movement...not like a crazy person...but as someone who has taken time to figure out what they want, set their intention to get it, made a plan and is now working that plan through movement.

I saw a quote I liked this morning about movement...or I made it about movement in my head :)!

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant." Robert Louis Stevenson.

So unless you want all your seeds planted at your feet...get moving!

My favorite math equation...intention + plan X movement = my goal

We are exploring my new math equation.  Yesterday we talked about intention.  Today is about the plan part.

Having a plan.  It's an important part of the equation.  An idea some people embrace and others run from.  You hear some people talk about being spontaneous and just letting things happen. That is a strategy.  But one that usually leaves the control of your life and possible well being to chance.

I, myself, have learned that having a plan is important.  It's a road-map to where you say you want to go.  Now you may get to New York from Wisconsin where I live without a plan or road map but if I turn west instead of east I would end up in California instead.  Not where I intended to go.  So the idea of a plan, a road map can keeps you on the path to where you say you want to go is a good idea.

Some people are plan-a-holics.  They have to script every move.  Not my thing.  I want some flexibility in my plan.  But I want it to be black and white on paper.  I also like clip art to spice it up :)

I may not know every step and chances are I won't but I will have the first steps written down, accomplish them and then write down the next ones.  I only have to know a few at a time.  But if I know where I am going...doing a few at a time will get me there.

If I decide along the way the goal isn't what I thought it would be.  I can change my mind.  But I am a big believer in being honest with yourself.  Are you abandoning your goal because it is too hard or because you honestly don't want it anymore?

If it is turning out too hard...can you get some help?  Can you break it down into smaller steps?  Do you need to back up and approach it another way?

If indeed you decide you truly don't want it anymore then set it aside and turn your attention to other things.  You get to make that decision as long as you are being honest with yourself.  Well the truth is you can make the decision to set your goal aside even if you aren't being honest...but that is not living your most authentic life. 

Your most authentic life is about being real and genuine and that my dear friend has to start with being real and genuine with yourself.  And you get to change your mind if you want to.  It's in the "real and genuine person secret code" book that you can change your mind!  It truly is... :)

However if you do want something then try making a plan.  Here's an example of what can happen when you don't have one.....NOTHING can happen ...but a dream that continues to go no where. It can lead you to a place of perpetually saying you want something but you gain no ground in getting any closer to it. 

My own personal example... I have said I want to have ten best selling books in my life :)  I like the number ten!

I have said that to myself for years and have even written it on vision boards and in my journal.  But you know what...if you don't take the time to write...you cannot have one book let alone ten!  Duh...

So now I have a written plan on how to write them and market them.  A plan to accomplish my goal...what I have said I have wanted.  It is written and yes...has some cute clip art in it.  It is a document now that is my road map to what I have said I have wanted for years but have not gotten.

Now it's on to movement ...that's what we will talk about tomorrow. 'Cause cute clip art will only take you so far... :)

My new favorite math equation...intention + plan X movement = my goal

I have never been a whiz at math.  I know that if you say something long enough you can make it true and for years I have said this.  When I was in math class in middle school there were 6 "Jeans" in the class.  Every time the teacher would say "Jean" one of the other Jeans would jump in.  I never had to answer.  Until the last day...when the teacher said, "Jean Buschke".  No one jumping in to rescue me that day!  And of course...I did not know the answer.  How could I?  I had ducked the work all year long.

I am vowing to change that by embracing my own version of math...my own equation.  Intention + plan  X  movement = my goal. 

I am going to spend a couple posts exploring my equation so if you want to embrace it you'll understand the math principals  behind it.  Rather impressive don'tyou think?!  LOL

The first part deals with intention.  What's your intention?  Are you clear yet?  Have you spent time thinking about what you want?  Who you want in your life?  Where you want to live? What you want to be doing?

If we don't have a clear intention the rest of the equation just doesn't work.  It's like that old quote that says if you don't know where you are going you will probably end up somewhere else.  No kidding!

So you need to be clear on what you want.  NOT wishy-washy.  Clear.  If you are focusing on one area of your life ...fine.  Then focus.  What is your intention?

My overall intention is to create a company where I write and produce products that I believe will help people lead the most authentic lives possible.  That is my intention.

Again...what is yours?

Tomorrow we will add "plan" to the equation.  See you then.

Perez Hilton needs a time out!

I just read on-line that Perez Hilton said he will continue to say things upsetting to gay and straight people alike.  This guy needs a time out!

For those of you who don't know Perez Hilton has a celebrity gossip website.  He got into an altercation with Black Eyed Peas frontman will.i.a.m this weekend.  I have not watched the videos that are circulating about the altercation...I don't care who did what.

What I care about is that Perez said he will continue to say upsetting things....like maybe the gay slur he used that night.  He said of that night ...he tried to think of the most hurtful thing to say...and he said it.

That's where the time out comes in.  A time out is an opportunity to stop, catch your breath and think about what you did.

Here are my tips for Perez after being in the field of personal safety for many years...

1.  Saying upsetting things to people for the sheer thought of hurting them may get you hurt.

2.  Telling people ahead of time that you are going to do it...well it makes you seem like you can't use logic to make your points and that you'll be taking the easy way out from the get go.  It doesn't take imagination to utter a slur...it takes a lot of imagination to frame your criticism of someone's behavior or performance using other types of words.

3.  When you make part of your living criticizing or making fun of folks...drawing things on their pictures that they may feel are offensive..don't think they are going to be your friend.  If you are going to be where they are...take some very big security people with you.  That is being safety smart.  And if you are going where people may be drinking...take even more big security  folks..or better yet stay home.

We are all responsible for our own actions. For what we do and for what we say. Things can get out of hand very quickly...that's why I use to teach kids there is honor in walking away from a fight.  Maybe something Perez could think about during his timeout.

It is your counsel that matters most. It can take you back "home".

What you think matters.  It is the one opinion that you should trust the most.  Even after you poll everyone you know.  It's yours that counts.  The one that ultimately you should heed.

When you have fallen...been betrayed...hurt...your world tipped over.  It is the most natural thing in the world to look outside of yourself for an anchor.  That's normal and it can be very important as you "right" yourself.

But there comes a point when you need to come back to yourself.  To trust your instincts again.  To know what is in your best interest.  Only you know what is in your head and heart.  Only you truly have witnessed your life and all the experiences that have brought you to where you are.

I think it's an important point in your moving forward when you honor your own truth again.  And when you trust it.

I had an interesting encounter on Sunday. I ran into a man I had met with awhile ago...over a year ago I think.  When we met I was in the depths of my dealing with my post traumatic stress.  I was in bad shape.  He gave me some advise that quite frankly was so off the mark I was stunned. I just listened and didn't quite know how to respond.  So I said nothing.  But neither did I see him again.

Well Sunday I ran into him and he asked if I had time to talk...my inclination was to say no...but deep down inside of me I felt "yes"...so I said sure.  He then said he had not seen me for a long time and wondered why? I had a moment of clarity and personal power that I have to say was clarifying, calming and peaceful all at the same time.

I said simply that the last time we had talked he was so far off the mark with what he had said that I felt unsafe talking with him again.  If he so misunderstood where I was...it was not helpful to me to talk again. 

I have to say he just sat there.  And I simply smiled.  I was not mean spirited...I was not angry.  I simply honored my truth and said what I felt without judgment or emotion.  It felt WONDERFUL!

The conversation ended with him saying he was sorry he couldn't have been more helpful and I said not everyone can be. 

It was my instinct...higher power...little voice inside...my little counselor...whatever you want to call it who let me know it was time to say yes when he asked me to talk.  I listened to that counsel and felt good because of it.

It has been a long road back to me. To trust me.  To listen to me.  And with all journeys back to "home"...it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there...when you get there it feels very, very good.

A 100 blog posts as of today! Happy hallmark to me...

Today is my 100Th post and I am as proud of myself as I can possibly be.  My intention was to post every day and I have done that.

When I started writing on March 15TH...I said you would find honesty and candor here.  I have honored that.  I have written through my dog Frank's sudden illness and death, through being taken to court, through people making fun of me for not having much money right now, through my steps to have the life I want now that I am standing back up. 

It has not been a straight path and I am sure it will continue to wind and weave...and have a few potholes along they way.

I have never written about trying a tool that I, myself, have not tried...because I just wouldn't do that.  You will continue to find tools here that I am using.

 I want us all to have the life we say we want to live.  I want us to be witnesses for each other along the way.

Getting there is not always a straight line and it is not always pretty BUT it is an authentic life when you figure out what you want...what YOU want... and move in that direction.

I continue to read about people who went from here to there.  Point A of despair and Point B of the good life.  They don't talk about the middle to often.  This blog is about the middle...how we get from A to B in one piece.  I am NOT going to give you a business plan to make a million dollars.

I am going to continue to show you how I am figuring out what I want...and helping you figure out what you want.  Life is about the journey to get where we say we want to go. 

Because my dear, dear friends...it truly is about the journey.  And having buddies along on a road trip makes it a lot more fun.

Here's to 100 more days on the road.

Before I go I need to say a special thank you to Ellen Violette www.theebookcoach.com.  I was on one of her calls and she said ..just start writing.  It doesn't have to be pretty...just do it!  It will get better.  Thank you Ellen!  I did.