What you think matters. It is the one opinion that you should trust the most. Even after you poll everyone you know. It's yours that counts. The one that ultimately you should heed.
When you have fallen...been betrayed...hurt...your world tipped over. It is the most natural thing in the world to look outside of yourself for an anchor. That's normal and it can be very important as you "right" yourself.
But there comes a point when you need to come back to yourself. To trust your instincts again. To know what is in your best interest. Only you know what is in your head and heart. Only you truly have witnessed your life and all the experiences that have brought you to where you are.
I think it's an important point in your moving forward when you honor your own truth again. And when you trust it.
I had an interesting encounter on Sunday. I ran into a man I had met with awhile ago...over a year ago I think. When we met I was in the depths of my dealing with my post traumatic stress. I was in bad shape. He gave me some advise that quite frankly was so off the mark I was stunned. I just listened and didn't quite know how to respond. So I said nothing. But neither did I see him again.
Well Sunday I ran into him and he asked if I had time to talk...my inclination was to say no...but deep down inside of me I felt "yes"...so I said sure. He then said he had not seen me for a long time and wondered why? I had a moment of clarity and personal power that I have to say was clarifying, calming and peaceful all at the same time.
I said simply that the last time we had talked he was so far off the mark with what he had said that I felt unsafe talking with him again. If he so misunderstood where I was...it was not helpful to me to talk again.
I have to say he just sat there. And I simply smiled. I was not mean spirited...I was not angry. I simply honored my truth and said what I felt without judgment or emotion. It felt WONDERFUL!
The conversation ended with him saying he was sorry he couldn't have been more helpful and I said not everyone can be.
It was my instinct...higher power...little voice inside...my little counselor...whatever you want to call it who let me know it was time to say yes when he asked me to talk. I listened to that counsel and felt good because of it.
It has been a long road back to me. To trust me. To listen to me. And with all journeys back to "home"...it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there...when you get there it feels very, very good.
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