Do you want to be a ghost hunter?

That's a question I am asking myself and I think if you are looking to live your life differently .. you need to ask it to.

Do you want to be a ghost hunter?  Let me explain.  If you are a reader of this blog you know I have come through a very difficult period that lasted almost 2 and a half years...as dark as I hope I ever have to endure and I have come out the other side of it.  For that I am grateful many times a day.

As I am standing back up..after having fallen flat as a pancake...I am reassessing just about everything.  I have things to deal with...collateral damage like finances (when you can barely work for two years you have some financial issues to address)...and what I want my life to look like now.  I have a vision that is crystal clear.  Now it's all about taking the steps to make it mine. 

I took a few days off and spent them with the man I love and it was wonderful.  On the way home I met two different women on the two different flights.  Each incredibly interesting.  The second woman and I had a longer chat and she told me her story and I told her mine.  I think airplane flights can cause that kind of sharing with a total stranger that feels somehow just right.

Anyway I was describing how I live in the same community where I directed a domestic violence/sexual assault agency for a little over ten years. I said I run into former clients and/or their abusers all the time and it was hard. She looked at me and said, "It must be like running into ghosts."  I looked at her and thanked her for giving me language to describe how it feels.  I run into the ghosts of the past each and every day.  And every time I do I am put back into their story. 

I had coffee yesterday with a fabulous friend and I counted five "ghosts" walking in and out of the coffee shop as we sat there.  Five people I knew but would never acknowledge...five people including one with her abuser who knows I know who he is and he looked right at me and smiled as he walked past with her.

Five ghosts stories that floated around me.  And that's when the question popped in my head Do you want to be a ghost hunter? Do you always want to be looking around the corner and seeing your past approaching?  Do you want to build a wall around yourself so the past that may have hurt you stays at arms length?  Or do you want to put yourself in a position where ghosting hunting isn't a daily activity?

I don't think your heart and soul can grow to it's full capacity to experience joy when you always feel you need to protect them from the past.  You need to figure out a way to ghost proofyour life. 

Ya need to get those ghosts off your back...'cause carrying them along with you wherever you are going comes at too high a price.  You need to have the capacity to meet your future on your terms without constantly feeling like you are negotiating with your past for some space in your life.

What a gift to be able to put some language around how I have been feeling.  And as for continuing to ghost hunt in my life?  Not a chance...I have more important things to focus on...like moving with grace into my future. :)  More on that tomorrow. 

Any ghosts you have been meeting up with? Are they helpful to you or not?

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[KeptKeest]

Global warming is real. It is happening today. It is being charted by our satellites. It is being charted by our scientists. It is being charted by those of us in this body, and I think the real key is if we are ready to admit that fact and take the action to make the necessary conversion.