Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight

Thank you for your service...

I have the opportunity to be surrounded by veterans for part of my week...  It is a true privilege to listen to them tell their stories and to observe their behavior around each other.

There is a silent appreciation amongst them for what they have all done.  I see it and it's impressive.

I think when you share an experience with someone there is a bond there.  You can appreciate an experience but unless you have walked that walk you cannot truly understand it.  I am more and more sure of that after some of the things I have experienced these past several years.

I listened to a man on Friday night who served two tours in Vietnam.  He talked about what he did there.  He talked about leaving his friends back home who did not have to go and he talked about coming back and being different and none of those friends understanding.  He said he came back and ended up drinking a lot because that seemed to be the way to cope back then. 

He expressed great concern about the men and women coming back now from the war...he wants them to be treated differently.  At one point he stared off a bit as if he were remembering something...he got really quiet and then he said...they spit at me when I came back.  They spit.

I touched his hand and I said I was so sorry.  People do stupid things that I am sure they regret later. I said thank you for what you did and for what you gave up to do it. He shook his head, smiled a bit and said you are welcome...

This is a different time.  I recently read a story about a group of volunteers out east who meet every flight coming and going to the war to thank the soldiers.  What a fabulous thing they do...to say thank you.  We need to do that every day but especially today.

Men and women who have served in the past and do serve today and their families deserve our thanks and support every single day.  Because of them we have what we have. It's a gift I think most of us take for granted...and we shouldn't. 

That gift of freedom has come at quite a price and we need to be thankful for that gift each and every day. And say so. Today is a good day to start.

Would you want to have a drink with you?

That's the question posed at the end of a new vodka commercial.  Would you want to have a drink with you?

I am a great fan of vodka...though Bombay Sapphire Gin is my favorite (like drinking a Christmas tree in July...or anything other month that fits your fancy!)...but still what a brilliant question!

Would you want to have a drink with you?  I don't care if it's a beer, a cocktail , a cup of coffee or a glass of milk.  Are you the kind of person you would want to sit down with?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to see what kind of a drink "date" you may be...

+do you complain most of the time?

+is your conversation mostly about you?

+are you focused in the past?

or...

+are you genuinely interested in what the other person is saying?

+can you offer hope without saying I told you so?

+can you share where you are with a sense of ownership and not blame?

+can you appreciate the sheer joy of having someone to share a beverage with?

+have you listened so you can walk away from the conversation knowing at least one new thing?

and lastly but most importantly...

after spending time with yourself...would you want to do it again?!  Well would you?

Are you strolling?

Strolling down memory lane that is?  Yesterday I suggested that you do that to gain some perspective...if you have not done it...the weekend is still young!

Here's what you need...some quiet time and some paper and writing tools...I am a big fan of colored markers. :)  That's all you need.

I am also a big fan of writing things down.  Seeing something on paper helps with clarity, at least for me.

Then start looking back and for every five years years write down things that you have experienced that had an impact on you. The good, the bad and the ugly.  Maybe you will see patterns.  Maybe there are lessons you keep getting because you don't "get it". Maybe there is joy to be uncovered that you have forgotten about in the rush of now.

Maybe you will be left with a feeling of overall gratitude or maybe a feeling of enough of this! I am expecting a combination :)

And while you are quiet make sure you send gratitude out into the universe to the men and women who have served this country in the past and continue to serve today.  We wouldn't have the luxury of quiet time if not for their service.  I for one am profoundly thankful for it.

Take time for a stroll down memory lane...

Looking for a way to recharge yourself?  A good way is to look to your past.  Really it is.

Take some time to look at your past and what you have experienced... the good, the bad and some of the ugly :)

It's true that out of every experience you gain something.  Even if it's the clear message that you NEVER want to do that again!

Memorial Day is approaching and it's a time to remember and thank those who have gone before us and gave so much.  But it's also a time you can reflect on your own life.

This is a perfect time to do that.  Especially if you are in the overwhelmed mode.  Take some time this holiday weekend to really look at where you have been.  One way to do it is to take out a piece of paper and write out a time-line. You write out 5 year segments and then write significant things that have happened to you during those times.

In the end you could have quite a document of things you have done...and/or survived. They can not only give you an appreciation for where you have been but give you fuel for where you want to go from here. If I did this ...I can certainly figure this out!

No one knows your life like you do...no one knows your history like you do.  Find time this weekend to give yourself the gift of reflection and memory.

You may be surprised where a stroll down memory lane takes you! :)

Tending my garden

My friend Barbara Marge is working in her yard a lot these days.  She lives in a rural area far from me. She is spending a lot of time getting the yard in shape.  She lives out in the country and it's a big yard.

She told me that if she doesn't get some of the things done soon...it will be too late for this season.  Got me thinking about tending my own yard...not outside 'cause my neighbor mows and takes care of that.  I am in charge of my "inner" yard.  And it's quite clear after two migraines in less than a week it needs some attention.

I think there are weeds to be pulled, dirt to be turned over and new flowers to plant.  There are also some flowers that need watering.  Like with everything else...I need an idea of what I want it to look like or I will end up with a potential jungle! 

My favorite thing has been to throw out a bunch of seeds and to see what comes up.  Maybe I need to plan better...one thing is for sure...I need to put more time in tending my own garden vs making sure everyone's around me is flourishing first.

P. S. I have a belief that you keep coming back to this life until you learn the lessons you need to...as slow as my learning curve seems to be on some of this...some days I wonder why I even bother to pack! :)

Today is about being.

Today is about being.  Every once in awhile I like to just be.  Just be.  I walk through my day doing what I need to do but mindful that being is enough.

Two migraines in less than a week tell me that something is out of whack.  So today...I am just being.

In the past I would have blown by them...jacked up the medicine and continued doing whatever I was doing.  I was the Executive Director of a camp of kids with HIV/AIDS years ago.  One of the responsibilities of the medical staff was to bring me migraine medicine every morning and a diet coke.  The only things that kept my headaches in check.  Why deal with the issues when you can short cut to a band aide solution?!

I don't live that way anymore.  A new path.  Not just because I do not have insurance so medicine is not really an option.

One benefit of falling flat is that once you get back up...you have a tendency NOT to want to hit so hard again.  Part of that process for me is not blowing by things...but rather coming face to face with them.  But to do that I need to be centered in who I am and not get pulled into the emotions of what may be causing the issues.

Okay I don't have the down yet...but I can identify the process so we are talking leaps of learning here LOL!!! :)

What I know about myself is to make that process happen I have to be rested and just be.  So for today that is me.  How do you bring yourself back to center?

Surrender or climb to the mountain top?

A question loaded with what ifs.  But it's a question on my mind.  Do you surrender and continue to do what you have always done...and get what you have always gotten?  Or do you continue to climb to your own mountain top with the potential to get more, experience different things and expand your life?

When I put it like that the choice seems easy on the first glance.  Go for the mountain top.  But I am finding it not so easy.  Maybe I have a life that is more twisty, up and down or maybe I just talk about it more :)

I have lived life a certain way for years.  It took me down a path where I believe I did very good work and paid a tremendous price for lack of any real focus on me.

I fell hard, it took awhile but I have gotten back up.  I am determined to walk a different path.  But I tell you daily I am pulled in the other direction.  Daily there are things that have nothing to do with me..okay they do but they are not my things...that continue to pull me off course and take my time and energy both of which are at a premium these days. Daily things pull me in the direction of past behavior.

It's a fascinating thing. 

 Maybe it's a continuing test from the universe...how badly do I want "It" or maybe it's a testament to my lack of ability to say "no".  Maybe it's both.  I am calling this week my "re" week...regroup, re-energize...reassess.  Surrender or mountain top? hmmmmmmmmm. How do you decide?

Standing on top of your own world!

I just read a wonderful on-line article about Jordan Romero who at 13 became the youngest climber to reach the top of Mt. Everest! How simply inspiring :) 

He said he called his mom and said, "Mom, it's your son calling from the top of the world!"

He said as he approached the summit he just felt happy. And when he got there it is a feeling that will stay with him for the rest of his life.  I am sure it will...

I know it's within all of us to reach our own mountain top.  Whatever that mountain top is for us.  Not everyone is interested in climbing Mt. Everest which is good or the traffic jams going up and down would be unbelievable!

But we are all quite capable of climbing to the top of whatever goal or "mountain top" we identify.  We just have to do a few things first.  The biggest thing is to identify what mountain top we are shooting for.  It sounds easy but most of us don't get out of the door on the way to that mountain top because we have no idea what we want.

Jordan apparently saw a mural in the hallway of his school of the highest mountains on the seven continents and that inspired him...at age 9. What inspires you?  What goal makes you want to get up in the morning?

Think...what's at the summit of your mountain top?

Take time to reflect...

Here's my thought for the week...not just the day...for this whole week.  Take time to reflect on things you have done or had an impact on that have been successful or feel very good.  Take time to reflect and say to yourself...I did good.

Not in a "stand on the mountaintop and shout" kind of way...unless that works for you. :)  But rather in a reflective way that lets you know that you have noticed that you have made a difference.  Because you have.

In a life that may feel like so much needs to be done...it's easy to forget what HAS been done. 

Here's an idea for an exercise.  For the next week each day write out one or two things you have done...that you feel good about, that you have had an impact on.

If you do this every day for a week by next Monday...Memorial Day you'll have quite a reflective list. And an extra set of experiences to celebrate and be reflective about on that holiday weekend. :)  That and a very large ice cream cone could make the holiday quite festive!

Don't ya just love exercises?!

She said she met Elvis...so very cool!

I tell you life is just an amazing thing!  There is so much around us every single day...like little presents that are waiting to be opened if we just stop long enough to notice that they are there.

Last night I spent time in the hospital with an elderly woman who had been hurt.  She did not want an ambulance called and I was the logical one to take her for various reasons.  So while another person stepped in and took over for me...I took her to the emergency room. We spent several hours of quality time there.

I have been aware of this woman for awhile.  Rather abrupt with me the first time I saw her. But gradually getting less so.  Not someone I would have thought to spend time with...but spend time we did.

And what a gift for me!  At 89 years old she has lived a life...  Even if 1/2 of her stories were true it was some life and I have no reason to believe all of them.

My favorite...she was a florist at O'Hare airport.  Worked the night shift. That's how she met Elvis.  He apparently liked flowers. Flew through Chicago on the way to Las Vegas a lot from Memphis.  He would always talk to her.  Would give her a hug once in awhile.

Once she said she made up some flowers with black and glitter on them because he liked black and white.  said he like them so much he sent one of his fellas back with a $100 tip.  She said the hug she got was worth more than that. I bet it was :)