When all else fails...don't fail you.

You are more important than you possibly know.

I believe that with all my heart.  The problem is most of us don't...  And when you don't believe something long enough it becomes your truth and things fall into place to follow that belief. 

Not thinking you are important is a perfect example of that.  When you put yourself at the end of the list... if you have even put yourself on the list is a dangerous thing.

I didn't use to think so.  I think maybe I thought it was more noble to always consider everyone else's needs first.  If I ever met mine it was with what was left.  And you know what most of the time there wasn't anything left...I was usually at a deficient.  You compound that by 30 years and you have quite a hole to dig yourself out of.

You need to take time for yourself.  To treat yourself gently every day.  It is even more important now with all the stress some people are experiencing in their lives.  When all else is failing or feels like it is failing around you...don't fail you. Stand up for yourself and carve out time for you.  Take time to have a cup of coffee or a glass of water or a cup of tea.

Listen to music...or just sit in a chair for a few minutes and close your eyes.  Visualize a time when you were at peace...or if you don't have that experience in your life...imagine what that would feel like.  Take time every day to do that and that image and its feelings will appear in your life.  I am sure of it.

Yesterday I met a woman who was tore...absolutely torn about spending some money on herself.  She was stressed and looked so sad.  She said she has a husband and a child and they need every cent.  I was quiet and heard echos of how I use to talk about everyone in my life needing things first. ( I am not cured...but I am well on the way :) to a place of balance with that.)

After she finished I quietly told her that I thought she was important too and if she didn't take care of herself soon she would have nothing left to give.  I told her that was how I had lived my life for a long time and when I finally ran out of what I had to give...it was bad and I never thought it was possible but it was.  I told her to learn from me and take a step towards remembering how important she is.  In the end her husband and son would benefit from her renewal too.

She said she had to think about it...left and then came back about ten minutes later.  She said she decided to do what she had planned. 15 minutes later I saw her again and she was simply glowing.  She thanked me for reminding her that she counted.

Consider yourself reminded too!

Comments

[Tracey Fisher]

It is very hard to put yourself first, especially when you are the family caregiver. You are always looking for ways to make sure your family, loved one, or whoever is important to you, is happy. Thanks for reminding us that we to have the right to think of ourselves first every once in a while.

Tracey

[Jean]

I think you are right Tracey..it is hard. I saw the woman again today who I wrote about. When I saw she...after a full day at work she said with a smile...this is for me. I believe with all my heart we each have to find those things taht allow us to say that with a smile in our heart! That's the only way we can keep giving with joy and not out of oligation and sense of duty.

[Lee]

Hi Jean, I totally agree. I think we often give 'until it hurts' and many people consider giving to themselves 'selfish.' But like you said, if you don't, you run out of things, energy, etc. to give and burn out. So it's important, no matter how hard it is, to stop at moments and rejuvenate ourselves by giving to ourselves so that we may continue to give to others.

Warmly,
Lee

[Jean]

I wish there was an easy way to learn this Lee! :) Maybe some people get it...but I fear most people have this dramatic push pull within themselves when it comes to self care. I learned the hard way that there is a limit to what you can give when you don't take time to renew. Here's to fabulous enlightenment that there is a better way to do things! :)