This may sound easy to figure out but some times it is not. Do NOT have anyone on your crew who doesn't support your idea that you deserve the life you want.
I am not saying that they have to blindly agree with you every step of the way. You could use a stuffed animal for that! No, you want people around you who can give you input and call a spade a spade. But they also have to be able to embrace the idea that no matter where they are...you may want something different! AND they can support that for YOU. Ah.....now that is not always easy to see.
Here's an old example. I am not a large person..so 5 pounds on me may look like 15 on someone else. I have on ongoing relationship with about 15 pounds that seems to come and go. :) Years ago I had a friend who also had the same relationship with about 70 pounds. Whenever I would be focused on healthy eating and exercising and go by to see her...we talked every day so she knew what I was always up to...she would forever have fresh baked goods on the table when I got there. And I would collapse like a tent and sit down and eat.
It took me awhile to figure out that she simply was not in a place to deal with her issues around weight and she sure liked company being in that spot. Every time I was working on being in a different place with all of that...BOOM! There she was with plates full of fabulous foods. Yes, I could have said no...and I did but then she would pout and carry on so eating was both delightful but also a way to keep the peace.
After awhile I decided to spend less and less time with her. I started to notice her being more and more negative about just about everything and no matter what I did or said...it didn't seem to make a difference. I realized that when I arrived to spend time with her I would be feeling upbeat and grand...when I left I was exhausted. Okay..sometimes I need to be hit on the head to get it...but I finally did.
We were born ten years apart on the same day and always felt that was a special bond we had. It was. But things change and when you look for a crew to support you...they have to be folks who can embrace where you want to go. If they can't...if they are more interested in holding up signs with every negative reason for you not to change...WAKE UP! That is not helpful. And you, my dear friend, are not responsible for leading everyone else to the path of a grand life. You need to lead yourself. And if along the way you inspire someone else..that's a bonus.
But someone who is stuck bemoaning how bad life is... is not someone you want supporting you. They simply won't.
Not a judgment. Just a fact. A fact you need to deal with if you want to spend your time on you and not trying to rehab someone's attitude. Your life is much bigger than that...if you let it be.
Next time...Who you need to listen to about setting sail.