Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight

Who do you need to listen to about setting sail?

Okay you already know the answer you silly goose!  You need to listen to yourself. 

What does your heart say?  Are you ready to have what you want?  Do you know what you want?!  Then why are you listening to other people anymore?

I doubt there has ever been anyone who has set out on a journey that has not had a touch of doubt.  So if you are having doubts...WELCOME to most of the world! 

The key is to acknowledge your doubts, assess your risks and then based on YOUR decision set sail or stay at home. You don't need a chorus telling you what to do.

Here's what I think sometimes happen.  You already know what people will say.  So if you really want to do something you ask folks who you know will agree with you.  If you don't...you ask folks who will say don't do it.  I say...cut out the chasing around and you decide! Your life is not a survey that everyone gets a say in. 

You get to listen to your own heart...and follow it. The more you get comfortable with your own voice the less those outside ones will matter.

Next time...I shall give you what you may still need.  :)

Who NOT to have on your crew...

This may sound easy to figure out but some times it is not.  Do NOT have anyone on your crew who doesn't support your idea that you deserve the life you want.

I am not saying that they have to blindly agree with you every step of the way.  You could use a stuffed animal for that!  No, you want people around you who can give you input and call a spade a spade.  But they also have to be able to embrace the idea that no matter where they are...you may want something different! AND they can support that for YOU.  Ah.....now that is not always easy to see.

Here's an old example.  I am not a large person..so 5 pounds on me may look like 15 on someone else.  I have on ongoing relationship with about 15 pounds that seems to come and go. :)  Years ago I had a friend who also had the same relationship with about 70 pounds.  Whenever I would be focused on healthy eating and exercising and go by to see her...we talked every day so she knew what I was always up to...she would forever have fresh baked goods on the table when I got there.  And I would collapse like a tent and sit down and eat.

It took me awhile to figure out that she simply was not in a place to deal with her issues around weight and she sure liked company being in that spot.  Every time I was working on being in a different place with all of that...BOOM! There she was with plates full of fabulous foods.  Yes, I could have said no...and I did but then she would pout and carry on so eating was both delightful but also a way to keep the peace.

After awhile I decided to spend less and less time with her.  I started to notice her being more and more negative about just about everything and no matter what I did or said...it didn't seem to make a difference.  I realized that when I arrived to spend time with her I would be feeling upbeat and grand...when I left I was exhausted. Okay..sometimes I need to be hit on the head to get it...but I finally did.

We were born ten years apart on the same day and always felt that was a special bond we had.  It was.  But things change and when you look for a crew to support you...they have to be folks who can embrace where you want to go.  If they can't...if they are more interested in holding up signs with every negative reason for you not to change...WAKE UP! That is not helpful. And you, my dear friend, are not responsible for leading everyone else to the path of a grand life.  You need to lead yourself.  And if along the way you inspire someone else..that's a bonus.

But someone who is stuck bemoaning how bad life is... is not someone you want supporting you. They simply won't. 

Not a judgment. Just a fact. A fact you need to deal with if you want to spend your time on you and not trying to rehab someone's attitude. Your life is much bigger than that...if you let it be.

Next time...Who you need to listen to about setting sail.

Who's on your crew?

Who is on your crew...following my symbolism of setting sail to the life of your dreams...who is on your crew?

A very fair question.  I don't mean who is actually in your boat...there is space for only you...but who is your support crew helping you along the way.  Read about any of these folks attempting solo trips around the world.  They set off by themselves but they have a support crew standing by on the phone for support and advise.  We can have that too. 

There are those who believe you must do everything by yourself. The facts are you don't have to.  You can have support.  Even the most successful people have advisers, coaches, mentors.  Folks they can call on when they need advise, encouragement or a reality check!

So who is in your support crew?  I have a small circle of friends and family who are in mine.  They have my back and I have theirs.  I trust them to keep my confidences and I keep theirs.  I know their hopes and dreams and they know mine.  I need to "sail" my own ship but there is great comfort in knowing that I can pick up the phone at any time and reach out for support.  I deserve that and so do you.

For some reason women get this idea that we have to do it all alone.  We have to be the helper always..never the helpee.  Well that's...beg my pardon...crap!  It's that kind of thinking keeps us all where we are.  Which is fine if that is where you want to be. But if you want more...or you want different...by virtue that you live and breathe...then you should be able to have it. (My theory is you can and should have the life YOU want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.)

And having a support crew to help you when you need it is fabulous!

So who is on your crew? I want you to name names...

Next time...who NOT to have on your crew!

The SS JOY has set sail!

My new mantra is "don't be rockin' my JOY boat"! I am a "symbol" gal.  When I see symbols for what I want they serve as instant reminders of what I say I want. Simple but powerful.

I think I am thinking about boats because I read on line that another young person is setting out on a trip around the world trying to be the youngest person to travel around the world alone.  More power to them...but my journey feels as exciting.

Journeying towards the life I say I want.  So I am loading up the supplies I need and launching my boat!

It seems to me a very important step is naming your boat.  Really...what do you want to surround yourself with every day?  What message do you want to put out there for the world to see?  SS Crabby?  SS The world is in a hand basket?  SS I have been screwed over?  SS Hope?  SS ....whatever :)

I think your boat's name will set your tone..and I want my tone to be joy.  I want every day to get up with that being my goal.  I am committed to it.  Will I have bad days? Hell yes!  I had several last week but my boat is still intact.  I have righted it ... tossed out the toxic water that started coming over the sides and I am sailing fine again.

Here is what I know to my soul...life is fragile.  We all  only have so many days for this so called life then it is over.  My belief is that if you don't learn the lessons you are suppose to...you will be back (that's why I don't intend to pack...cause I am coming back!!! LOL)

So why not take these days and set sail for the adventure that truly truly calls to your heart?  Maybe you will sail into unchartered water...but if you are not living the life you want right now...that's where it may be...in unchartered water.

So let's get as prepared as we can and stop holding on to the pier with that death grip! Start by naming your boat...what are you going to call her (or him)?  :) 

Tomorrow our supply list.

Don't be rockin' my JOY boat!

I have just come off a very long weekend of work on my two little feet...epsom salts ...my new best friend! :)

Sprinkled in my weekend were some folks who really pissed me off!  Well now that was blunt wasn't it?! :)

I don't like that feeling and it pulls me away from where I want to be.  I am smart enough to know that no one can make you feel anything...(I hate knowledge sometimes!!!)..but I am also human enough to be pulled into those feelings.  The key to me is to recognize the feeling..figure out what it really is about and then do something about it.

That little grasshopper is, I believe, the ultimate key to the life you want.  I never want to be so unaffected by people's behavior that I don't notice it.  But I want to be firmly planted enough in my own sense of what I want my life to be like that what ever someone else does doesn't have a very long impact on me.

A very admirable goal I believe :).  And I am committed to working on it.

One thought that came to mind out of nowhere this weekend was "don't be rockin' my JOY boat!"  I then started laughing because that's what it felt like.  I was floating right along and then all these waves of emotion and junk were rockin' my boat!  So, you know me, I started off on a line of thinking about me sitting in a boat called joy and someone was messin' with it. Not like the Perfect Storm movie thank the lord...but messin' all the same!

So for the next couple days I will tell you what supplies we need in our boat to keep sailing on smooth waters.  We will get back to the personal inventory I have been working on to share with you in a week or two.  For now smooth sailing seems to be calling me...and I do my very best these days to answer :)

Next time...name your boat :) 

It's done because I say it's done.

That's how I am feeling tonight and why I probably cannot sleep.  I have had an "aha" moment about two days ago which has taken me a bit of time to process. It's thrown me off a bit and I didn't even know that.  Has that ever happened to you? 

You are moving along and something feels a bit off and then all the sudden the light goes on...maybe from a low dim to a brighter and brighter light...until you have the answer. Then what the heck do you do with it? Your "aha" revelation...

You have two choices...ignore it and pretend you did not figure it out.  Or you can look at it with fresh eyes and deal with it from a new perspective. I am choosing the second choice.

There is something to be said for looking something in the eye.  It says that even if you are afraid you are still willing to look at it. It says you are standing still. (Cause you can't look at something in the eye if you are running from it!)

 It says you are summing what you need from what you have to say what you need to say.

It's taking a stand for yourself that whatever has happened before does not have to impact the future.  The effects of things past are just that.  Past. You can do that once you recognize the power is in the now...not in the then. And the ultimate power of choice is yours.

So when you have that revelation appear...choose to deal with it. 

And then you can look at whatever issue has appeared to trigger your "aha" revelation and say with confidence..."it's done because I say it's done." And you'll mean it. And you won't be running...you'll be putting your focus where you should be...in the now.

Next time...back to our inventory :)

Any suggestions for the inventory?

I am putting together a lovely plan to inventory areas of our life. 

There will be five to ten questions you can ask yourself to see where you stand.  Here's the areas I am going to cover:  physical, mental, spiritual, health, relationships, finances, home, recreation, business and future.

I think this will be a great checkup! It's almost the end of the year so no time like the present to look at where we are.

We start tomorrow...one area at a time.  The questions will be to make us think and focus.  Then move on... any area I missed?

Taking inventory...oh it will be fun!

Every successful organization or business takes a count of their inventory.  Some do it once a week...some once every six months. Some every year.

One place I work takes inventory once a week and then based on the findings the owner tracks back and figures out what happened if something is missing. I think that it is a fine idea to do in our own lives.

If we don't know what we have...how can we effectively use it? And when we figure out what we have...are we using it to the fullest?

Over the next few days I will be asking us some questions...in each area of our lives to see where we are. Taking inventory so we know where we stand.  Oh come on...it will be fun!  I will pose no more than five questions...but they should get us thinking and now won't that be fun?!  LOL...

See you next time :) to begin Inventory 2010.

Today is it.

That's what we have.  Today.  That is it. 

I woke up this morning racing in my head five months down the road.  As I was thinking about what I need to accomplish...I was feeling 'overwhelm' starting to come at me like a tidal wave!  Then I stopped. 

I realized that really all we have is today.  This is it.  So what can I accomplish today? We will see :)

And tomorrow I will accomplish what I can then. And then the next day after that I will do the same.  Bit by bit, step by step we can all accomplish great things even if they seem overwhelming.  It's when you try to get your arms around the whole thing that you can sit back and let overwhelm knock you over. And when overwhelm wins...very little gets done. And you are left shaking your head wondering why.

No wondering today.  No more potential overwhelm. Today...step by step is the ticket.

Everyone can have a 2ND act...and a 3RD and 4TH.

If you look at your life like a play...you get more than one act.  If you are looking at your life right now and things aren't what you want...get to the next act.  Turn the page of the script!

I was at a fund raiser last night and I found myself spending most of my time with a woman I went to school with and her family.  It was simply delightful as I sat there and watched their family interact.  It also was a reminder to me of how my life has played out.

I am not sure how one's early life script gets written...how much we have control over, how much we even realize we have control over as we are growing up.  What I do know is there is always another act.  Another chapter to be written.  I like to believe there is always time to pick up the pen and write a new act.

If you look around your life and like what you see then your next act can be to embellish what you already have.  You can expand it and do more of what you are already doing.

But if you aren't happy with what you see. If you want something different...then that's up to you too.  You write the script.  Then you act it out.

We are all playwrights...we all get our name above the title on the marquee. It's our story..they are all our acts.  And the title of your play is....?