Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight

The more you listen...the more you hear.

That's obvious..yet pretty profound don't you think?!

The more you listen...the more you hear.

I was feeling very overwhelmed by the end of yesterday.  I am on the verge of tremendous changes and I think the sheer volume of them overwhelmed me!  I felt scatter and well...overwhelmed!

Today is a new day and I have been "listening" all morning.  I received two e-mails that were about "just being".  One said you should just be for a day and the other e-mail talked about practicing stillness.  To my surprise I found that I was doing both.  I had stopped the chatter from the outside.  And I was listening for what I needed.

My sense of overwhelm is almost gone...replaced by a sense of calm.  From a place of calm I can view what needs to be done from a place of peace...not chaos.  From a place of peace I can be reasonable and take steps that need to be done to accomplish what I need to do.

And while watching me spin in chaos can be entertaining...I find I usually end up in the exact same place...a lesson I have learned from endless spinning over the years.  I hereby declare my spinning days have come to an end!

Here's what I have done today to regain my sense of calm:

• for every cup of coffee I have... I am drinking two glasses of water
• take time to be quiet, mediate and pray
• connect with people I love
• read a bit
• remember a time that was challenging but today makes me laugh!

I feel anchored again in today and not overwhelmed by what's ahead.  I continue to be delighted and quite frankly surprised at what appears when I need it!  I am more than delighted to realize many of the resources I need are already within me!

Before I go I have to tell you about the challenging time I thought about this morning.  One of my nieces lived with me off and on for a good part of her early life.  It was not easy for me, for her or for her mother, my sister who was in the Navy. One particular time my niece, who must have been four at the time, was being quite the little pistol!

I had enrolled her in a new day care.  As I dropped her off the first day...she put her hands on her hips and announced to the entire room that I was her aunt and she hated my guts! I simply responded that I would be back at 5 PM to pick her up!

This morning for some reason I thought about that and laughed and laughed.  I texted my niece about it and she said karma has worked it all out! Her daughter makes her pay for that all the time! Ah...the circle of life. :) Yeah gotta love it!

Would you like peace of mind? Here's a thought...

I was feeling overwhelmed last night.  I barely slept. Then this quote popped up in my email...

"For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe" ~Larry Eisenberg 

Ask and it shall be given to you!  I tell you I laughed and felt the universe winked back!  This is a lesson I continue to be given ... over and over.  I would love to say I got "it"...finally got the lesson but that would probably be lying at this point...hence the email quote today! 

I have been reading a great book Manifesting Change by Mike Dooley all weekend.  He is author of Notes from the Universe..email messages that come 5 days a week. If you have not signed up at www.tut.com do so when you are finished reading this.

His message, which I believe, is that we are all where we are suppose to be. And we need to be doing what we can as we head towards our dreams. We just need to show up in our lives and keep doing what we can each and every day. 

Our job is NOT general manager of the universe.  That job is taken by "someone" much wiser. We are not suppose to be trying to rearrange the "hows" of the universe...or be like a stage manager expecting people or things to magically take their places where we think they should be.  The universe (or who ever you believe in) is more than gifted enough to do all the arranging for all of us. We need to relax into that knowledge and that's where our peace of mind comes from.

We...WE...need to do what is in front of us and believe it is enough. Not as easy as one would like to think for those of us who apparently like control :) .  But I am thinking after seeing that message appear in several different forms over the last few days..it's a message I shall take to heart. I am thinking you may want to give it a try to... :) 

What if...

In the movie Letters from Juliet the letter the movie is based around is read at the end.  The focus of the letter is "what if..."

"What if" questions that can haunt us because of our lack of action.  What if I made the call?  What if I had taken that job? What if I had told him or her what I really thought? 

Most of the time the letter said we don't follow the "what if" because we are scared.

Look at your life today and see what would be different or could be different if you said what if and then you did "it"...your what if... leap frogging over your fear like a joyful five year old!

What would that look like...and more importantly...how would you feel?

The hardest arithmetric to master...

is that which enables us to count our blessings. - Eric Hoffer

I saw this quote in the Mutts comic strip by Patrick McDonnell...and you know me...if got me thinking!  LOL!

First I have always sucked at math.  I was lucky in math class that there were always at least 4 "Jeans". So when the teacher would call on "Jean"...one of the other ones would always answer.  Of course then the day came in middle school when the teacher turned around and looked straight at me and said, "Jean Buschke what's the answer?"  You guessed it...after a year of not really paying attention because I had such great cover...I had no clue!

This other math...the counting your blessings...I do get that!

I am amazed at the number of people who do not count their blessings.  I am amazed at how many people don't realize what a gift they have by simply waking up this morning.  If you can read this...you have the gift of sight...and might I add the gift of wisdom! :) Blessings indeed.

I would love to say every single day I count my blessings...I haven't.  But you know what...I am going to start making it a daily practice as I meditate. 

I am thankful and grateful. And it is good practice to count them every day. I never want to be caught like I was in middle school not paying attention when someone says, 'What are some of your blessings Jean?"  I want my response to be, "Pull up a chair and get some coffee...this is going to take awhile... Now let's start at the beginning ...number one is...!"

My goal has been and will continue to be... to live with more joy in my heart.  Counting my blessings will ensure that I do.

Happy Thanksgiving and may you take some time today to practice your math...

I fell this morning...

In my kitchen..I fell this morning.  I had let Pumpkin outside, came up the steps into the kitchen and somehow fell.  I am a bit banged up but nothing is broken and for that I am grateful.  I fell on my butt and my butt is quite lovely if I say so myself.

I am not one of those skinny people.  I never will be.  I like curves and softness. I saw a magazine ad years ago for a certain car that said the car was built for speed...not comfort.  I remember laughing because that is how I viewed my body for a long time...the opposite...built for comfort not speed!   

However that is not what's important here... 

My life could and would have changed in an instant if I had broken something.  I have no health insurance.  At this point Pumpkin and I live alone.  My cell phone was in the bathroom charging totally out of reach...and while I do believe Pumpkin invites other dogs over for a party when I am not home...she would not admit that as I would have laid there.  I could have laid there a long time and all the implications of what could have happened next are not lost on me...

I ever so grateful for what did NOT happen.

But here is the ironic thing...I was deep in thought when I fell about how life can change in an instant!  Truly I was.  A man I know and really like died yesterday.  He was in his forties and he died.  I talked with one of his sister's last night and that's what we talked about...life changing in an instant.  Things can change on a dime.  They can.  They do.

Things can change in my life that quickly and they can change in yours too. Today mine almost did.

It's a reminder to me to seize each day and make it everything I want it to be...while continuing to be grateful every day that I have that opportunity. It's easy to forget that...today I won't.

You are what you speak.

How are you talking about your life? What did you say about your day when you woke up?

Words count. They have power to inlfuence and inspire. They really do.  Without getting all over the top with this (as you know I can LOL)...just remember...you are what you speak.

Life is good and I am blessed.  Now say that ten times.  And continue to say it throughout the day.

Feel the difference?  Don't say you don't?! Cause I don't believe you... :)

 

 

Seth Godin. Sally Field. And me.

Seth Godin has a great blog. You can find it at www.sethgodin.typepad.com. I appreciate his insights...they make me think.

He wrote one last week about the Sally Field problem. You may remember that when Sally Field won an Oscar...she said to the audience, "You like me. You really like me."  Or something very close to that.  I can still remember being uncomfortable for her.  I remember thinking even then..it's your work they like and are recognizing...not you.

That's what Seth wrote about last week.  He said it matters if we like your work. It doesn't matter if we like you.  I think...like he does...it's easy for people to get that all confused.

Don't get me wrong...it's lovely to be liked. But I have done some of my best work when people have not liked me.  But I am thinking after watching me work...they would want me in their corner if they were ever in trouble.

Since I read Seth's post I keep remembering when I was the Executive Director of a camp for kids affected by AIDS.  One young boy had to be hospitalized in a hospital in rural Illionois.  We had been renting a camp nearby.

We had talked to the hospital ahead of time about bringing kids there if we needed to.  It was the 90's and folks still were very afraid. I was at the hospital with a young boy who had AIDS.  I was with him for several hours and we still had not been helped though they had put us in a private room.  I asked for some food for him because it had been such a long time.  I had to leave the room to use a restroom. 

As I came back around the corner I saw an orderly in the room.  He was placing the little boy's food tray on the floor and said that's where he deserved to eat...by the time I was done with the orderly and his supervisor...they did not like me.  I could live with that. I had a job to do and I did it very well.

As you live your life...you have choices almost every day.  Do you stay true to who you are or are you in it to be liked? Staying true to yourself can sometimes feel a bit lonely and may require you to go against the grain.

I recently left a job because I did my job.  Sounds kind of funny doesn't it?  But it's true.  I had been managing a bar for almost a year.  I cut someone off who said she was drunk.  I did it with as much tact as I could.  But actually when someone says they are drunk and you have a license...it's a no brainier.  You cannot legally serve them anymore.  The woman got angry and simply three weeks later was still talking about me.

I could have served her.  I like her.  But it had nothing to do with liking or not.  It had to do with doing the work I was hired to do.  I quit because I felt it was starting to affect the bar.  I can live with that.  I can live with people talking about me. And maybe someone else lived that night because I cut her off.  I can live with that too.

In the end you have to like yourself. And then you need the confidence to move out in the world doing what you believe is your job to do.  Some folks will like your work and some won't.  And when you are clear about who you are...you can live with that.

And some days..."I got nothing."

That's my new favorite saying..."I got nothing".  I usually add "but joy in my heart"...but the first part is a great response when you are stumped.

I recently managed a bar.  A man made a rude comment to me.  He, of course, was surrounded by other people when he made it.  I stared at him for a moment then said, "I got nothing".  I couldn't think of a comeback.  I told him if he came back another day I would probably have a witty comeback...but in that time and space...I had nothing.  Everyone laughed and life moved on.

That's how I am feeling today. I got nothing.  Some times life just happens ... at such a pace and with such an impact that it can leave you feeling like you have nothing.  You are tired and a bit shelled shocked.  Ya got nothing.  No answer, no comeback...just a sense of life unfolded the way it should.

Here's what I think we need to do at that point...enjoy the "nothing".  Just be. Recoup, re-energize. We cannot possibly have an answer for everything.  We simply can't.  We are presented with experiences every day that stretch us and challenge us and help define the life we say we want to be living.  If we are momentarily stumped by it all...I am thinking that is part of the journey.

When you acknowledge "you got nothing" in response to what you are faced with...that opens the door for a new "something".  A new reaction...a new respond. And that my dear, dear pals...is how we grow and do things differently.  So today "I got nothing" but tomorrow I am thinking I will really have "something"!

I know.

I couldn't sleep last night. Restless because of the changes I am making with more to come...

Change takes effort and change takes focus. It takes vision and it truly takes an appreciation for the ability we all to have change, improve...or if we choose... to stay the same. We all have choices every day. And making those choices takes energy.

Some days I am better with that then others.  This past week I have had a very long, not so pleasant span of days. One thing happened after another that left me wondering "what the heck?!"  From jobs issues to a dead car battery to lost gas cap keys.  By Sunday I was on my couch watching episode after episode of Modern Family because it was all that I could do.

Then came Monday when I started to think of a client I use to work with who had AIDS.  She was a gem.  We grew very close but I moved away and we didn't talk for awhile.  I heard she was starting to fail and it was hard.  At one point I called her and said that I was sorry I had not called her but I had been busy with my move and getting settled.  She responded that I wasn't being honest...I knew she was dying and it was too hard for me to face. Zing!  She was right.

She had always declared that she would be the woman to beat AIDS.  This was back in the '80's when people were dying pretty quickly so her declaration was bold.  But she made it all the time. Now she said she was tired of fighting.  She just wanted to rest.  It was her choice when to say when.

 We talked a long time and we both cried and we talked some more.  Soon after that she died. I thought of her Monday as I was getting ready for another week...wondering what would happen next as I move through the changes I am making. 

Here is what I know... I get to say when I need rest and when I need to push forward.  I get to decide what works for me and what doesn't. I get to decide when to be bold and when to draw back.

I get to decide who to draw close and who to turn away from. Like my friend I have a inner sense of what is right for me.  I have not always followed it...for awhile I was simply unable to.  But now I can again.  And I am.  And I know.

Be bold, Be brave, Be you.

Now that is a challenge for you...and for me.  Be bold. Be brave. Be you.

I think most of us instinctively know what is good for us.  We know if we are in a relationship that drains us vs. one that fills us with joy.  We know if we are in a job that we dread vs. one that we can hardly wait to get to.  We know if we are surrounded by people who bring us down vs. lift us up.  We know.  We really do.  That awareness can be hidden from us for awhile but it's there.

Sometimes it's a tiny voice in our head telling us. Sometimes it's our fear of dread when we encounter "it" whatever "it" is. Sometimes our body will step in and tell us through restless sleep, migraines. And sometimes it will be our friends who are watching on the sidelines and who will raise the issue.

I have had all three going on lately.  For the past several weeks things have not been right for me and I have had lots of signs.  And when I figured out my "energy tangle" which I wrote about last week..two of the things blew up in front of me in less than 24 hours!  That was something to experience.

As I spent the weekend dealing with the aftershock I came to know again that claiming your own path is not for the weak of heart. Claiming your own sense of what is right for you...is also not for the weak of heart.  Notice I did not say what is right for anyone else.  I said what is right for you.  

I have a sense of what is right for me. It looks different from how other people see things.  That is okay.  If we all saw things the same way...life would be very colorless. And I want my world to be full of colors and sights and sounds.

To make that real I need to do my part.   That means... Be bold. Be brave. Be me.