Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight

The theme of my writing is NOT fall down seven times...SPLAT!

No it's not!  The theme is Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight!  Get Up...an important part when you are ready!

Now here is Step #3 for having your best year EVER!  You can and should feel okay using support in your life to get back up and reach for the life of your dreams.  Support.  Asking for it.  Receiving it. Embracing it like a cupcake.  Then when you can...being a support for someone else.

Nobody does it alone...at least they don't have to.  That's what this website is all about.  Offering support, tools, ideas...about getting back up.  It's not easy.  But it can be done. 

And I am right here with you finding my way back.  It's not always pretty, there has been stumbling and some flailing and some wailing along the way. :)

But it is also honest which is what I said I would be.  A lot of people think they are the only ones who feel certain things...have to deal with certain things. And while your experience is yours..and I would never, ever try to play one upsmanship with who carries the most trauma...we can still gain from each other.  Knowledge, tools, suppport.  There is something to be said for yelling "THIS SUCKS"...and having someone say "YES IT DOES".  They then give you a chance to rest - then let you know it's also time to get back up. NO judgements...just support. Kind of like the circle of life  :) from the Lion King.

I have only gotten this far because I have had support from a small circle of people.  I still have had to do the work.  My experiences are mine.  My choices are mine.  The results of those choices are mine.  Yet there is something comforting about knowing when you get a bit scared or unsteady...there is a hand there when you reach out to steady yourself.

Support...it's that "hand" reaching back when you reach out.  I hope you consider me part of your circle of support.  I will be here when you reach about.  Part of our own circle of life.  Now cue the music...  :)

Step # 2 for your best year EVER! It's all about you :)

First...how did Step # 1 go?  Did you do it?  Did you write out your perfect day in glorious detail?  Great!

I did...but not until last night.  My perfect day before included my dog Frank who died.  I had a very hard time rewriting my perfect day without him.  But I did it.  I wrote and the more I wrote the more focused I became about the new year. 

If you did not do it yet...don't be looking down at your keyboard trying to avoid me!!! LOL

But if you didn't do it yet...take the time.  It doesn't take as long as you might think. You can just do an outline of it and fill in more details as you go along the next few days. But you need to do this for yourself.

Your perfect day is a road map, a guide to where you want to go.  You truly need it or you could end up somewhere else!

Okay today Step #2...it's all about you!

You have to get yourself into a mindset that you deserve to have the life you dream of.  You deserve your perfect day every day! Not as easy as it sounds.  It's not easy for several reasons.  Briefly here are some of those reasons:

• you don't think you are deserving.  Maybe along the way in your life you have been told or have somehow gotten the message that you or what you think doesn't count.  If that's the case it's hard to see yourself having a perfect day..let alone a perfect life.
• you believe everyone else's needs come first and if there is anything left or you have any energy left...you can focus on you.  From experience let me say..FAT CHANCE YOU GET TO YOU!
• you have been told to "want"  is bad.  It's selfish. And lord knows we don't want to be called out about that!
• you are use to having less...and switching to "more" is hard!  Lord it's hard.  Change.  Any change can rock you to your soul.  I have written lately about how difficult the changes I am making have been.  It has been physically painful to address some issues that have come up.  But here is what I know...if you want it...you can get to the other side. And You can. I am not some pollyanna who is spouting things I have not lived.  I am knee deep in change and it can suck! But you can do it.  You can get to the other side of it.  But you have to want it for yourself because even though there is help to support you in changing whatever you want to change..you have to do the work yourself.  Let's all say it together...bummer! LOL!

Here are a few things to help you get into the right mindset.

Make a list of all the things you have done for others this year.  Get out pencil and paper and write it out. Now make a list of what you have done for you.  Compare the list.  Isn't it your turn for more attention?

Read this next sentence and see how it feels.

  Respect begins with how you treat yourself and your dreams.

I believe that we are given the power and the right to dream.  That doesn't mean you have to disrespect where you are.  You can be grateful for everything you have in your life and still what to have a larger life.  You can want more joy, more love, more adventure..more impact.  More "things" if that's what brings you happiness.  We are all given the power to dream and the right to make those dreams happen.  If you don't respect that right for yourself how can you support that right for anyone else? And as importantly...if you don't respect your own dreams...why should anyone else?

I want to leave you with one of my favorite quotes.  The first time I heard it ...it simply stopped me in my tracks.  Read it...see what it does for you :)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  ~Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles," 1992 (commonly misattributed to Nelson Mandela, 1994 inauguration speech)

I love it!  Every time I read that quote I feel it calling to all of us to be less afraid and more of who we truly are meant to be. And we will get there.

Tomorrow..one more step for the best year ever! See you then.

 

 

Step #1 for your best year EVER!

We are in the final days of the year...the final days of the decade.  Good Lord that sounds even MORE impressive!

Rather than be in a reflective mode...I like doing that New Year's Eve...I am all about getting set for 2011. The beginning of the New Year and the new decade.  And for me...the beginning of a new book of my life.  I am closing the cover of this last one and opening a new book whose title I will reveal on January 1st. :)

But first -  three steps to get ready for 2011 and beyond.  Three steps to help insure that 2011 and beyond is all I want it to be and more.

I wish that for you too...so take a few minutes the next three days to do a bit of work to get ready.

Each step we have talked about before..but each should be refreshed as we head into January 1st.

Step #1  Write out your perfect day. 

What do you want it to look like?  Who is in it?  What are you doing? How do you feel?  From the time you get up until the time you go to bed...write it out. Use as much detail as you can.

There is an absolute...you have to "see" it before you "achieve" it. 

Of course there is that school of thought...you can have the gift of dumb luck...falling into a fabulous life that you love...but are you willing at the end of the day to leave everything up to chance?

Not me...

So take out some paper and markers or sit down before your keyboard and start writing.  Writing with as much description as you can.  This is your life...what do you want it to look like.  Hold nothing back.  From what you look like, to who is in your life and what you are doing with them! (Yes...this is for you! LOL) This is for you.  Not for you and fifty of your best friends.  This is for you. 

I have done this many times.  But I need to do it again today.  To be honest my last writing included both my dogs..and my boy Frank has died over a year ago.  I simply could not bring myself to take him out of my perfect day.  He was my boy Frank Sinatra Buschke.  Quite the swagger, quite the boy, a little wiener dog who just was happy to be held...who my friend Cathy said loved me with his whole heart. And the feelings were mutual Frank!

But like everything else there comes a time to move forward. You cannot be looking backwards and forward at the same time.  You simply can't.  Today for me...that means writing a new perfect day without Frank running out to meet me. I will take the time to write the best vision I can. Because I deserve the best vision I can write. The best vision I can live.  And so do you!

One of my favorite sayings is...If you don't know where you are going -  you will probably end up somewhere else!

So know where you are going in 2011...and beyond.

Claim it and name it!  Start today by writing out your perfect day...your vision...your road-map...your reality.

Tomorrow Step #2 and it's all about you!  :)

 

Either you believe or you don't.

Each and every day you are given a choice. 

Do you believe or not? 

Believe in yourself, your dreams..the future you see for yourself. The people in your life... do you believe or not? 

Actually do you believe in the sheer joy of today? Do you believe in it or not?

With that first decision you then assembly everything you need to support it...

I know I keep saying we will talk about it...but truly tomorrow ...we will begin 3 posts to get us set for the New Year...for making it the very best year of our lives. 

That I do believe...the very best!

Let's tally up those gifts!

What an interesting Christmas it was...not a gift under my little tree for Christmas morning. And while Christmas is not about presents..it's easier to say that when you have some.

I am drawing to a close the last few years of rather dramatic living.  I am closing the book on it.  Starting a new book New Year's Day with a new title for my life...new focus and a commitment to using everything I have learned these past several years.

And those things I have learned are the true gifts I got for Christmas..it just took me a little time to figure that out.

Gift ONE...I am still here.  That is a miracle.  A true miracle because there were three distinct times in the past four years where I considered another option.  I drew myself back from the brink each time and I am glad I did.  I understand those who could not find their way back.  To find your way back is a gift not to be squandered. It is a gift.

Gift TWO...I have loved this year to my core and it was a wonderful feeling to feel again.  My heart simply almost felt like it was going to burst.  Where that love will take me...I do not know.  But to feel it is to feel like you can fly.  And being airborne is a good, good thing.  I would always trust that feeling again and again. It is a gift.

Gift THREE...there is tomorrow.  And with it comes another chance to shift your perspective...a chance to experience...to refocus...to respond... to rest...to move forward.  It is a gift.

Gift FOUR...there is today.  It is all what we truly have.  We each have the same amount of time. The same minutes and seconds. And we each have the same chance to make it ours. It is such a gift.

So in fact I ended up getting everything I needed for Christmas this year.  I was just looking for it in the wrong packaging.   

Like most of the things that are most important...

no wrapping was required.

Merry Christmas!

 

Merry Christmas...a day for faith and its renewal.

Merry Christmas to you!  May you find peace in your heart wherever you are.

Of course today for some people is about presents!  We always hear ...it's not about the presents but most of the time I think that is said by people who GET presents because if you don't..it kind of sucks!

But that is not what this post is about.  It's about faith...and if you have lost a bit of yours along the way this year...today is a wonderful day to renew it.

I don't know what or who you believe in.  That's actually your business...not mine... but what I do know is I believe it is important to believe in something bigger than you.  Something or someone who has your back...something or someone who you can call on through prayer or mediation when life gets more than you can handle.

If along the way this past year you have lost your faith...today is a good day to renew it.  I don't have all the answers..in fact right now in this time and space I am a bit confused.  But what I do believe is that there is someone a lot smarter than me in charge.  I read this past week that you need to take a long view of your life. 

If you look at things right in front of you they may not make any sense because you are too close.  You need to take a look at your life from 30,000 feet up...look down at your life from that vantage point and it all makes sense!  The dots connect.  The pieces are moving into place. And our job is to just keep moving.  One foot in front of the other. Trusting things are unfolding as they should...in their own time in your best interest.

Trusting...another word for faith.

What I learned from getting stuck in the snowbank!

Okay I can find a life lesson in EVERY single thing that happens to me ;).  A gift...a curse?  LOL You can decide.

Yesterday I was playing Christmas elf for several people that I am a volunteer guardian for.  Some things I could mail to them...but for one woman I had to drive to the group home where she lives. 

I was worried a bit about the roads.  We have had snow and a bit of sleet the last few days.  Winter driving and I respect each other after I have had at least three accidents during winter weather. Like winter driving..not so much...respect it...oh yes!

When I got to the group home all the folks who live there were sitting in their own recliners watching a Christmas movie.  It was just charming...  Gloria, one of my chicklettes as I fondly refer to them,  was dressed in the new clothes that we had shopped for last week and was just happy.  A very good thing indeed.

As I left the house which has a tricky little driveway I got stuck in a snowbank!  Not a big snowbank...I have been stuck in bigger ones :) but big enough to stop me in my tracks.

As I sat there for a minute I decided to back up. Ah..that would be dreaming on that slick driveway! I went nowhere. 

So I sat for another minute in my Bobby-mobile as I lovingly call my PT Cruiser.  All the sudden I figured," Why not try to barrel through it?"...so I did!  I stepped on the gas and the Bobby-mobile with a sense of power I so admire :) flew right through it! 

All the sudden we were on the other side!   Now that was impressive...not recommended probably but impressive all the same.

On the way home I thought about the snowbank and I thought about where I am in my life.  I am at a huge turning point....simply HUGE!  I am closing this book (not just the chapter) of my life on December 31st and starting a new one.  The decade of being present for everyone else and leaving myself behind...is coming to a close.  It has been a good life.  A life where I can say I was present through my work at different non-profits for literally thousands of people when they needed someone by their side.  But in the process I took very poor care of myself and in the end I have paid a tremendous price for that lack of attention.

So I am walking towards a new life...a different way for me to live...and here's where the lesson of my friend, the snowbank, comes in.  This change has been hard to the depths of my soul.  I have actually felt physical pain as things have surfaced from these past few years. I have taken spiritual body blows out of nowhere more than once.

I truly understand why people shy away from change because if you make change...real change... it can be painful.  But here's what I learned yesterday...there is a time when you just have to say "What the hell" and floor it!

I think we all have more inner power than we realize.  Maybe that power been hidden or depleted...or maybe it is just waiting to be called into service.

I am calling mine into service.  like yesterday when I floored it to get through the snowbank...I am going to get through the last few "snowbanks" of resistance to get to the other side of what is in my way to start the new life I want. There is no backing up.  There is no getting out and pondering if it's the right time.  There is only taking that leap of faith and flooring it!  

I will be on the other side soon. Am I nervous? Well of course I am ya silly goose. But if I don't take this leap of faith and floor it I will find myself in this same spot a year from now...still pondering the best way to get to the other side...to get to where I say I want to go.  I have come way too far and been through way too much to get to this point. 

In the next couple of posts I will tell you what I have in place..and what I think you need in place to take the leap through these last snowbanks of resistance. 

 

When I write it sometimes triggers a memory moment...this just did.

My first job out of college was in Wausau, Wisconsin. When I moved in to my first apartment in a big old house my parents were there helping me.  There was a gas station across the street. At some point my mom and I walked over there.  We met Earl an older man who was the owner.  Much to my shock my mom told Earl that she would appreciate it if he would watch out for me.  I was new in town, this was my first job..Yikes!!!  I was mortified!  But Earl did just that for years.  I would take him cookies for the early morning he and the guys had and he was always there for me.

I had a little Ford pinto. One day we had had a large snowfall and I had shoveled my way out of the driveway.  But when I got back in my car the snowplow came by and I didn't see it.  It pushed a ton of snow back in the bottom of my driveway as they are known to do!  As I pulled out into the road I got stuck!  Way up past the wheels of my little car. I was stuck...

I got out ...look in disbelief at my car and probably said a few choice words.  I have blanked that part out!  LOL!

I got my little shovel out and started to dig into the snow.  All the sudden I heard laughter and eight men led by Earl were crossing the street. Earl told me to get out of the way. Those eight men lifted...LIFTED...my little car up and put it on the road. And then walked back across the street for more coffee! I was left standing on the sidewalk with my mouth hanging wide open in amazement!

Earl had my back...each and every time I needed help he was there.  And I promise that I have your back.  If you get stuck I will help you figure it out...and if you think I am stuck..let me know.  Nobody has to do this alone...they simply don't. And we won't ;)

 

 

 

 

DECIDE ALREADY!

If I hear one more person complain about the state of their life...

I think I shall go live in a hut somewhere!

(I shall make sure the hut is by water and those drinks are available with the umbrellas in them :) I may want to be alone for awhile...but comfortable all the same! ) 

Here is what I say to everyone who is unhappy with where they are...decide already!  Decide where you want to be...what you want different and then set out to make it so!  I know it's not easy.  Change can be painful.  I KNOW! If you are a reader of these writings...you know I KNOW.

But change is what makes things different.  You cannot get different results when you do things the same way...you simply cannot.  It doesn't work.

So if you are not happy...decide you want things to be different.  DECIDE ALREADY!  Til the end of the year I will take you through the steps I am using to get where I say I want to go.  Is it easy?...hell no.  Is it always pretty?...ah...that would be a no.  But am I still going to get it?...oh yeah!  2011 will be different.  I have decided...now it's your turn.

Tomorrow...Step 1

Juggling on marbles...

A lot of people consider life an act of keeping balls in the air....the fine art of juggling!  We juggle them sometimes with ease and graceand sometimes like a crazy person.  I have been a fine example of both! :)

Lately as I move forward into the new life I am creating I have felt like I have had 100 balls in the air.  Each one needing to be kept in the air...then last week someone threw a container of marbles at my feet!  After the initial shock of what the person had done which threatened to upend a lot of what I am trying to do...I found my footing again.  But what an act that was...

Here's what I have learned about juggling ...  the more people who are watching you... the more chances there are for someone to try to trip you up. Not everyone is supportive of you mastering what you say you want.  Not everyone wants you to drop all your balls either.  But the more you do your juggling in a public way...the more chances there are for interference.

If someone tossing marbles in your path...  just stand still for a moment.  Give those marbles a chance to settle then use your foot to gently sweap them to the side.

There is no reason to take your eyes off of your juggling balls...there's NO reason to stop. You know what you are doing and why you are doing it.  You just might want to be a bit more careful who is in your audience.

Open your arms wide...Here comes life!

Close your eyes and think for a minute ...

how does a child who is excited to see you act?

Okay...you just had to read what I wrote before you could close you eyes!!! LOL...sorry about that!

Now go ahead and close your eyes.  See in your mind's eye a child running towards you in delight!  Go ahead...I will wait. (Did you hear the Jeopardy Game Show music playing in your head as I was waiting?  LOL!!! )

Okay back to you!  What did you see?  Did you see a child walking towards you disinterested? Did you see a child walking towards you with their arms crossed?

Or...

did you see a child running towards you with their arms wide open...laughing and giggling...with joy almost jumping out of their body?

Sometimes they get so excited to get to you that they stumbled the last few steps and you get to scoop them up in your arms! Contact...sweet, sweet contact.

So here is a question for you...which way did you approach your life this year?

Did you walk towards it with your arms crossed...looking down at your feet...disinterested or maybe afraid to see what was ahead? Or did you run straight ahead with your eyes taking it all in...giggling and laughing with your arms wide open?

As this year comes to a close and the next one is poised ready to begin it's a great time to ask yourself how you want to approach 2011?  Arms crossed, shuffling your feeting...looking down OR arms wide open, running towards your life with your eyes filled with joyful expectancy?

I am just asking...