Oh the places I have NOT been.

We are almost to June...six months into the new life I talked about since last August when the love of my life asked me to move to be with him in another state.

By now I expected to be settled in Arkansas...traveled to China at least once where he works...met the new grandchild he called me from the hospital about to say I was a grandmother for and experienced rolling over in bed every morning and seeing that cup of coffee waiting 'cause he wakes up before me.

Ah...the places I have NOT been.  He disappeared without a trace in December after I returned from a visit...less than a month from when I was suppose to move.  Not a word. Then.  Not a word since. He is not being held by the chinese.  Just a man with very cruel behavior I apparently never knew after almost 15 years.  Ah..the places I have NOT been.

I am certainly some place else. I had terminated my lease, quit my jobs all in the process of moving. I ended up for a period of time with no jobs, the real potential of being homeless and with no money.  I have been scared, hungry, frightened, confused and dramatically hurt.  

I depended on the kindness of my friends to get me through the first few months and my family has helped me move to a lovely new house that I was divinely guided to.   

A friend rehired me in one position and another friend recommended me for another one.  My computer crashed and died when I moved so I have potentially lost all my work from the last several years, all my contacts....everything.  It seemed like such a perfect ending to such a dramatic turn of events. 

This morning I was talking to a friend and I said it feels like being under a ton of rubble and you crawl out and start to see the sunlight again.  You know it's there...the sunlight.

The sunlight is always there... somewhere.  That's where hope and faith come in.  You have to let the dust settle...let your eyes adjust and refocus.

Then you take a good look at where you are and quit looking at where you are NOT.  

And you remember you can get up and get your own cup of coffee.  And life goes on.

 

Comments

[Bhozx]

see a full moon Saturday night.Whoof!! Here it is, only Thursday night, and that last pic showed me a full moon aldraey! (You know, every time I see a Moochelle pic like that, I remember , and Garrett Morris' character, Mike , with his answer to the question asked by Clint : what part of a woman's body do you like the best? )