Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight

Today's word is struggle.

Struggle...means to fight with.

Struggling with circumstances, with people, with where you are at ...usually means you are expending energy with no result in sight.  You "struggle"  to figure things out that sometimes really have no answer.

Struggling can keep you in the same spot.  It can cause you to take your eyes off what you really want.

Better to lean into it.  Stop the struggle and move on.

 

 

Every challenge a gift? Then for me it's Christmas morning!

I was reading my emails this morning and came across one that said...we need to consider every challenge a gift.   My response was...then at my house it is Christmas morning! Honest to goodness that is what it feels like!

When I started writing a few years ago I promised that I would be honest.  My life had fallen apart and I noted that while that happens to a lot of people and they write about it... they usually go from fallen apart to a great new life.  There is little said about the time between those two points.  I promised the good, the bad and the ugly as I went along.

I have tried to honor that as I have written through one more life implosion that knocked me completely off my feet and my rebuilding efforts again...fast forward almost a year and I am finding myself at almost nearly the same spot again....minus the complete panic I experienced before. (Panic I have found through my experience does not help as much as one would think.) 

The place where I worked closed so I need to create new work. 

My car...the Bobbymobile as I like to call him is still not working.  I have been very lucky to use a car from my former boss but the license is due to expire and no word yet on if he will renew them. 

Then Sunday the bridge in my mouth came out.  Just quietly came loose so I have an interesting look right now that I am not exactly embracing.  :)

With very, very little cash flow right now all of these challenges appear to be overwhelming. I have been a bit immobilized by them.  It is honest to say that.

Then today I read about every challenge being a gift that offers you something...a new way to look at things, a new way to create things.  I am sure I have read that before but today it struck me in a different way.

With that framework in mind...it feels like Christmas morning at my house being surrounded by gifts! 

This morning I have decided I best quit admiring the wrapping paper and start to open them one by one.  They all have my name of them...so apparently the gifts they contain are meant for me.

It was an ordinary day...and then she died.

My friend's sister died last week. And what keeps running through my head is..."It was an ordinary day...and then she died."

She was having an ordinary day going about her life.  Visiting a friend to water her flowers. Talking with her family and then sat in her chair to rest and when her husband came in the house...he thought she was sleeping then realized that she was too quiet.  She had died.  An ordinary day....that ended up being anything but that.

There is some kind of peace with that.  There was no big announcement that this is it.  This is the day.  It simply was.

It says that life is fragile. Life is uncertain. That while every day is an ordinary day...we want to make sure that each one ...to us...is extraordinary in how we appreciate it and how we live it.

Ask and ye shall receive. Oh my!

Ever been hit by a thunderbolt?! You know...a thunderbolt of thought that hits you right smack in the head? Kind of jolts you to a different level of awareness?  Yes...that kind.

That was me this morning as I was making coffee.  I had been working at a restaurant/bar for almost a year.  I loved it there but it was hard being on my feet 12 hours a day...6 days a week.  My only day off I was usually exhausted and spent the day doing personal errands and then doing things for my chick-lettes as I like to call them.  I am a volunteer guardian for five people who have various disabilities.

I was tired a lot and wished I could take a break...but was so relucant to take any days off because days off meant no money and money is something that I had very little of. Having lost almost everything a year before my fear about being homeless drives me more than I would like to admit. So even though I was offered time off...I usually said no.

But I have to say I thought about just sleeping in and letting my body rest...especially my poor feet on a pretty regular basis. I have to say that is true.

Then about three weeks ago with less than a week's notice the restaurant was closed. And the amazing thing was about a month before I won a $1,000 scratch off ticket! I know...quite exciting!  I signed the ticket and put it in my drawer as my little cushion.

When the business closed with little notice I did not find myself panicing because of my little ticket.

So I sent the ticket off and have money for this month's rent.  Ahhhh....

I realized this morning via my thunderbolt that I got what I asked for...not how I envisioned it but I got it...and along with it funds to pay my rent this month.

I did not connect the dots...and they were some very large dots! 

Here's the thing I have come to realize yet again...when you "ask" you need to let go of the "how" it will appear.  Just be grateful when it does. :)

 

My DVD Player and its life lesson.

I have a short attention span when it comes to electronics.  I seem to be able to screw up a TV remote in a very short period of time.

Take the DVD player I got months ago.

Rather than read through all the directions I just matched up the colored tipped cords on the little DVD player with their counterparts on my TV.  Turned it on and it did not work. Plugged and unplugged those little cords many times...alas that was not the answer.

I decided then and there...based on no other information...that the player did not work with my TV. They were incompatible said the great electronic genius Jean.

That DVD player has sat on the floor for months and I have continued to watch DVDs on my laptop.

Then last night for some reason I picked it up again. Plugged and unplugged the colored tipped cords several times. Half expecting that by the 7th time the thing would magically start playing I suppose.

Then for some reason I thought to change the channel on the TV which I might add was NOT in the directions...and BOOM...there was Harry Potter!  Bright and large :)

The DVD player does indeed work..and works very well.  :)  It was me who had the problem.

I continued to do what I was doing over and over and expected a different result. 

This time I did something different and it worked.  The lesson here has not escaped me...

DVD Player ... Life. Do the same thing over and over and you get the same result. 10 times or 100 times it does not matter. Repetition is only repetition...it is not results.

If you and I want something different in our lives then we need to do something different.

Who knew my DVD player came with such a bonus feature?

So what have you been trying over and over the exact same way only to get the same results you are not happy with?  Wanna borrow my DVD player? :)

 

Everyone gets carried a bit...

I love...simply love "Notes from the Universe"!  They are notes written by Mike Dooley on behalf the universe and they are simply inspired.  If you do not receive them...run...do not walk and sign up at www.tut.com

You can thank me later :)!

At the end of each note there is an additional thought.  Today it was "Everyone gets carried a little bit, Jeanne."  That struck a note with me...a deep note.

I would not be where I am today if I had not been "carried a bit" when my world imploded. I know you are asking which time?!  Good point :) But I am talking about the last one...

There is always a feeling or sense that we have to do whatever it is we need to do alone. I am here to tell you there is a better way.  The better way is to accept help that is offered to move forward.  Accept that there is nothing wrong with that.  That can be a big hurdle to get past.  But get past it you can.  I did and it made the moving forward possible when I did not have the strength to do it myself.

 

How to be a Great Listener - Step 5

From every conversation you have...there should be "takeaway".  What did you gain from the conversation?

You spent part of your life...really you did...engaged in listening to someone.  Hearing what they had to say.  So what was your takeaway?

What do you know now that you didn't before?  Even if the answer is "I wouldn't waste anymore time in a conversation like that!"  :)

Reflection is good for the soul...make sure you take a few minutes to experience it.

How to be a Great Listener - Step 4

Step 4 in the process to being a Great Listener is to ask for clarification if you don't understand something that was said. Sounds simply right?  You would be surprised how many people don't ask.

What wouldn't people ask?  One reason is that they don't want to seem stupid or dumb. Or maybe they think they can figure out what they don't understand later. 

But the whole point of listening to someone or at least one point should be to learn something new.  And if you don't ask for clarification if you don't understand something how will you learn?

I knew a woman years ago who had cerebral palsy.  It affected her speech.  You would have to listen very closely to understand her.  I would have to say many times during a conversation..."I didn't get that could you say it again?"  She always did. She knew it was hard to understand her speech.  But she would regularly test people and say " My dog just died" to see what their response was.  She always knew if they were really listening to her or not!

So if you are in a conversation with someone and you don't understand something that is being said..ask for clarification.  It may surprise you that their dog didn't really die! :)

Being a Great Listener Step 3

Step 3 in how to be a great listener is ask questions.

Asking questions does two things...it keeps you focused on the conversation and it also shows the speaker that you are paying attention. 

If you don't understand what is being said...ask questions.  If you want more information...ask questions.

Asking questions is a way of saying I want more from you.  It's a good thing for both the speaker and the listener.

Tomorrow Step 4.

Being a Great Listener - Step 2

I have come to realize that being a good listener...let alone a great one takes work.  In these days of endless noise and chatter I am sharing with you my steps for being a great listener.  If you are taking the time to listen...why not do it well and get something out of what is being said? :)

In that spirit...here is Step 2 Focus.  Pay attention.  Quiet the chatter in your head.

Yikes!  That does take some work. It helps to focus if you are actually looking at the person who is speaking. Think about it.  It makes sense.  If you are in a conversation with someone during a meal and you are chasing the last french fry around your plate...are you focused?

So look at them. Put down your fork and focus. 

If you find your mind starting to wander...gently bring it back.  You don't want to give yourself whiplash for goodness sakes...but you need to keep your attention on the speaker. 

If you find that your mind is hopping from one thing to another while you are trying to lisen to someone sometimes doing a "mind dump" can be helpful.  Take out a piece of paper and write down everything that you are thinking about.  Sometimes just writing it down can get it out of your head.  That's a start to have some quiet space so you can really focus and listen.

Tomorrow Step 3.